Good morning!
This weekend I have been musing, pondering, and a lot of great insights came to me.
One of which was around creating a dialogue that would be played out....or NOT!
I started into the monologue with.... "I just wanted the pain to stop. If I could get far away enough from it, it would end."
Have you ever felt that way? Tired of feeling raw, and attacked. Not being able to do anything to stop feeling so "bad"? And then other symptoms and experiences that feel like it just gets in the way of you being able to stand up and say what you want to say and do what it is that you want to do....?
I continued the narration.... "But how would I heal? How would this be any different? And where could I go to feel safe?"
Then an "edit" was dropped in and that monologue/dialogue came to an end...it was just one of the possibilities of where I could take the "story" I was creating from a situation I was facing
...many situations have had many dialogues considered, and only one that I followed through with...We can come to many conclusions, and write stories from there. Often, many of those are built on false statements.
The dialogue for me didn't end because I couldn't get the answer I was "itching" to hear...."I" ended the dialogue because it was being built up on false narrative. I was getting further and further from looking to "me" and seeing me in the story...the "problem" was taking over my "role" in it all and wasn't leaving me any room for better possibilities.
I changed the dialogue and then I changed the questions.
".... I am realizing that I may be avoiding others jumping into their own reactivity and non-serving habits and behaviours at the expense of the best outcome for all. By not speaking up and standing firm am I putting a better outcome at risk of not showing up? Am I leaving this situation to continue to fester and influence others in a non-serving way? Am I choosing to not show up? Am I limiting the change that can happen? Am I contributing to the growth and betterment I expect or am I allowing for destruction? Am I staying present for the good outcome and result I expect?"
LOL I was definitely in the editing process now...feeling more presence and feeling more involved in the journey. The questions were giving me more personal ownership and hope for the change others WHILE diminishing what I felt as "pain" and "discomfort".
It didn't necessarily change the situation like a magic wand and "POOF" all "problems" were gone, but it did bring me more peace and a more inclusive and expansive viewpoint beyond just my "survival" in the moment to a more sustainable experience and long term solution for me and all involved.
Anyways, just some thoughts from my weekend.
How was your weekend?
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