Monday, April 6, 2015

Hamster wheel or Hämsterviel? Stop spinning and become genius

Today was a different day...it had finally arrived...this day.  This day that over a month ago I had planned to do certain particular events...agreed to appointments and meetings and just over a week ago changed...and I realized I have found myself running a hamster wheel. I have gotten STUCK in a funky loop and yes, my dear friends, it will be time for me to get off this wheel soon as I scan for somewhere to jump.

And today, it reminded me that I had written years ago about being on a hamster wheel and looking to get off...

Dr. Hämsterviel (from the movie and television show, Lilo and Stitch) really inspired me as he was definitely NOT mindlessly running on a hamster wheel as his other counterparts might entertain to do but stepping into his genius (no matter how evil intended it may have been ). I'm not looking to go into the mad scientist profession, but in order to inspire the next generation of up and coming as my boys are, I must continue to challenge my "being" as well.

"... I got off my hamster wheel and starting off on my journey, running down my road of life, full of change, responsibility, taking actions, and living by the truth. I stopped lying to myself and stopped living in absolute statements (always, never.....), and started seeing things for what they really are. I could watch myself grow and grow to appreciate the growth in others. We are not what we were and we can't keep going back to the past to define our present and future. We can take what has been learned from our pasts and carry it forward as lessons learned, bringing it along on the journey as knowledge, wisdom, and experience. How will you see things that are happening today if you keep looking behind you? It's hard to run in one direction while looking in another. And it's hard to make changes if you are not doing differently and taking the actions to make that change happen.

I have made many mistakes of my own, and have done things in the past that I do not do now. But it is hard when what you have done is the past is all that someone sees you as today, whether it is yourself or someone else looking at you through your past actions. I hope that the changes I have made in my life now may be recognized for the woman I am today and help me to continue forward as I walk, looking ahead, at the woman I will become.
"

Is it because I don't like being "defined"? Really, it could be...there is only one definition that I hold dear to and that is as a disciple of Jesus Christ...but in all that goes on and happens....I need to accept that others look out for the best interest in what they are doing...and not to take things too personally (or directly)...AND with that, I know that a time has come in my life to be...to become and step more into the woman I enjoy becoming.