Thursday, September 29, 2016

Question YOUR superiority complexes



Stop being surprised….

When people of “minority” perform “great” things among you.

There are technologies that you are currently using that you don’t realize are created through the “intelligence” of “minorities".

(Now, I use the example of minorities, because at this very moment the ends of those cords from that rope that was twisted for ages …they are unraveling before our very eyes.  It was never meant to translate as infinite truth…it is based on a lie that does not serve to build up and unify but instead divide, separate, and knock others down...distract! SO therefore, its design was never sustainable from its conception.)

Stop dismissing ideas and contributions from those around you because you have already decided, somewhere in your very being, that you are at a level of advancement or awareness or even “experience” above what someone else is “at”.

Stop now….and ask yourself…in what ways and in what areas am I viewing those around me with “less than” glasses? PERIOD!

(And before I go any further, we have all been threaded with these cords to some degree. They sound out in our comparisons with one another or some of our “because of” (insert generalization) statements. All serve as disguises to fear in some degree and on some level. Not all fear is the heart-racing or the “don’t hurt me” kind. Some are nested in anxiety over our unknown experiences and unanswered (or unasked) questions…we are all uncertain to the level we are truly created…and in that you get to choose to stick with what you have heard and seen or you can be willing to embrace the “scary yet beautiful” aspects of the unknowns around and throughout us all.)

Even as I am sharing this, I am asking myself the same question (refer to bolded text above). For example, my husband…is younger than me. So, of course, being that I am older, I have more experience? NO! His experience profile is unique to my own.  It doesn’t make it less than or better than my own.  He bears his own unique contribution into my life and others.

And that “weight” of age (and comparison) has been held to us many times…Have we allowed the age difference to get in the way of better judgment and experience? Have other "weights" gotten in the way? Absolutely! Spirituality, formal education, genetic expression (a.k.a. skin colour, sex, height, etc. ), cultural background, and family upbringing and experiences….as well as society “boxes” of description and “definition”) .  And when they do get in the way (in the way of what? Our love and our relationship)…life has schooled us to challenge them.

How do you challenge these “boxes” of "better than" or "less than"? Of weighted comparison? Of fear-based conditioning? You ask upstream questions that get to the core and heart of its hidden reason. Peeling the onion…finding the ultimate why (and this goes as deep as you want it to go. Some will stop asking based on level of challenge to their own beliefs and personal truths. And some.... do not chose to hold so strong or personally and ask from a place of wholeness and oneness with all …)

…how does this serve me? Is it building up those around me as well as myself? Is this beneficial? Is this sustainable and dynamic? Is this loving, kind, patient, etc.? Does this celebrate and expand my experience and growth? Does this cause me to run (physically, mentally...jumping on trains of thought...)? Do I feel “justified” in this moment? Am I fighting to be right? Am I being defensive? What am I defending to protect? Am I being of value in this moment? Am I questioning the value of others in this moment? Have I applied a less than or greater than comparison or justification or generalization?

What we have to offer is value. And that value in others only adds to our own. When we are willing to receive and celebrate the value one another has, we grow from that contribution.

Now, with that said, then you have the “mess” of what someone holds as valuable. And then the “or not” gets put in to the equation. And if using the “less than” glasses, then they could be missing out on receiving the true value in the situation, moment, relationship…YOU could be missing out on receiving that gift of value! It’s the “or not” that we are moving away from. It’s the unreceiving attitude that is keeping us from valuable gifts that is unraveling. It’s choosing instead to see how we can focus on building up and receiving as well as “unhindering” ourselves and our value. Through recognizing our burdens, and the ways in which we are hindered (held back) we can then question and explore…”What greater aspect am I being distracted from?” Usually it is love. Usually it is receiving the value of another that is intended to build us up and help us grow. Usually it is continuing in the experience and enjoyment and wonder within our lives that we are intended to receive day to day.

For now...let's question....and honour...

"Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." ~ Romans 12:10 NLT

Thursday, September 8, 2016

The eggs in the basket would make a great breakfast!

Managing your resources...


What a great morning! Productive, collaborative, encouraging, and full of many lessons. The boys got a valuable lesson this morning that we will call "managing your resources." A pot of quinoa cooked on the stove and fresh backyard collected eggs. There are even frozen berries in the freezer and greens in the fridge...all the fixings for a great breakfast AND a quick packed lunch. Well, no smoothie, no eggs, not berries bowl with seeds, etc was made...and the lunch option went down as breakfast.... 
 
Boys: "Mom, what's for lunch?"
Me: "You didn't pack it?"
Boys: "Pack what?"
Me: why didn't you make eggs or something else for breakfast?
Boy #1: Well he ate it all for breakfast!
Me: "So what did you have for breakfast?"
Boy #1: "Hmph...(stomp, stomp)
Me: ..."Well, come home for lunch then."
Boy #1: ..."What? Can't you just make something and drop it off?..."
Me: "No. You can come home for lunch. I will be here...finishing around the house...."

Natural consequences....I plan on making "lunch" at lunchtime and they can join me AT lunch to enjoy it. We only live less than 10 minutes from their school (by foot), and they have an hour...Lots of time. And someday, they will love that they get that "freedom"...to come home for a warm meal. But for today, it's a great opportunity to value and weigh ALL that you have at your disposal and make a plan of what to do with it all.  As for me, I have many rooms that are calling for some specific "detailing" before I have people over this evening (I am admittedly "messy" when it comes to managing the laundry fold and sort, but the piles are all ready to go to their designated locations ). Oh and a proper breakfast is calling as well. 


Friday, September 2, 2016

Going beyond assumptions...one another loving

Good morning! Sterotypes and racism....same thing?

In university, I was given a "failing" grad for an assignment that was contested by my peers. Why the fail? Was it for poor quality work? Were the images I used processed poorly? What my typeset off or my idea out to lunch? No. It was because the image and the font was considered too "classy" for the music. It was an R&B single and the project was a CD cover.

Stereotyping...the grade was adjusted after the contest...my peers were right and they stood up for me. They believed something unjust was happening and they took action.

To stand in someones' way...to set up obstacles based on generalized opinions...to harm others or intend harm and maltreatment of others based on a unloving thoughtstream (LOL what would you call a MASS opinion established by someone that undermines and undervalues a large group of people?)...what is the benefiting fruit that one would achieve from engaging in that?

I am met with this on a daily basis...Good news is...I know what value and truth of experience I hold. I know I went to university and achieved "degree" status (as did most of my friends)...I know I am married with two healthy happy boys and not the high school drop out, knocked up single mother or immigrant nanny as I have been referred to on a few occasions ... I know I am a homeowner in the midst of renovations and getting my boys to mow the lawn and not the drug dealing renter you have assumed I am.....you see....in all these conversations that started with a heavy assumption and ended with the person feeling embarrassed, two things happened. I dispelled a myth about the "stereotype" and story they have created around it and I stood in the place of the stereotype and defended those caught within it, including myself.

There are complete narratives and life journeys that we know nothing of. The pain of leaving your children while you pursue a better life for your family ...ad succeed! The child who was forced to drop out of school and work so that they could provide money to meet the needs of others in their families. The pain and heartache...the lack of support felt by those surrounded by a culture of addiction...those who got pregnant during their relationships and the guys walks out of their responsibility.

These assumptions you have "labelled" me with ("you" in reference to the person I was talking to....unless you feel to take it personally) are some of the best of my friends, the parents of my sons' friends, my family, my neighbours...and their courage and strength inspires me. And their love and friendship builds me up. No, it's not my story...it's not my experience. But I have been blessed with the assumptions so that I may prove them false and unsustainable. We don't know the full story....but MAN, are they ever beautiful to hear. If we would just.....ASK first!!