Monday, February 13, 2017

The awakened caterpillar...coming into your Divine Radiance

I just had a moment of silence....embracing the joy of Being who-what-why-how I am and I opened my eyes with a revelation...

You see, let me fill in with a little back story...A couple weeks ago....no wait....maybe only a week ago, ...YES! It was made clear to me that the hubster now had clarity...of wanting every burden and hindance to be dropped by his side like his tool belt at the end of a work day and jut run with his face held up to the sunshine ....freedom is calling. A couple weeks before that he announced he contacted someone about selling the house. It triggered a bunch of emotions in me, but yes, it was and is time to think about the next stage of development for this property. I know I had a vision of how I wanted it to look, but it wasn't coming through in the way I was hoping...maybe this would be how it was to come. All I know is that I like to leave a place in a good way, so that our memory and impact will sit in the hearts of those around us in a positive way. I shared with the boys that this time has come and for them to prepare their hearts and minds for it. That packing up our stuff would be happening one way or another for a good reason...an improvement to our living space.  I also am well aware that our family thrives on travel and we have navigated our travels quite well...making ourselves at "home" no matter what community we happen to land up in.

I know I married someone of transcient nature....that he would not want to stay put in one place too long without experiencing even more. I have watched and listened to his heart beat and race...I have seen him shove past his crippling anxiety to become familiar and grounded in the new unknown...he opens wide to receive and then when he has experienced enough, he looks to the fringe of the horizon and desires to acquaint himself with its unseen views and pulse.

But for many years I have watched as he has tried to "make" himself into something...and now, at the edge of completion and advancement he has come to realize that he has been enough JUST as he is for a long time. The years of advancing and building a persona are quickly unravelling and the threads are snapping as the web of its creation is being torn away to reveal what is already great from within...and his desire is to allow it space to glow and radiate...his Being is upon him...upon us all.

I have often thought of it as selfish...as it has been, in the past, more about him being free than recognizing that he has a wife and family and that we actually ADD to his life and not HOLD him down. But who knows...maybe me "trying" to think even bigger...to establish a stable foundation that we could have our needs met and not get stuck somewhere without a way out or something to return to...more residual income, investments, connections, etc. All the things that I figured would give a stable support as we travel around the world. It is a beautiful plan....and it may very well come to fruition.

So,....The revelation...maybe I am NOT thinking as BIG as I could...if I was a Shephard of this "flock" called humanity...I would KNOW that I have a VAST area to cover....and I would travel light...

...sigh....much "lighter" than I am travelling now.  Jesus travelled with the cloak on his back and the sandals on his feet...oh! and with Disciples by his side....and even though he stay within a localized spot (to our knowledge), he shared Universal impact!

And with that, I opened my eyes and realized there is even MORE I am willing to do without....in order to BE more.  Not as a plea for "acquiring" and living a minimalistic lifestyle, but more about the freedom to bring more to those within humanity...locally and globally.  I don't know...if we could handle a broader and more global experience....I think it would need to be more....actually...I don't know...I can't put framework around something I have no clue about....so it's time to start filling in the fuzzy and obscure....with living experience.  And in the meantime, I will continue...to not only start clearing out more to allow for "wings" to unfurl from their cocoon, but to also continue working on the foundation that I have been working on ....with God's guidance and grace. I believe all will come together to meet the needs and desires of our WHOLE family so that we can bring beautiful impact, experience, and radiance into our lives and the lives of others.