Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I DO care!

This past week I made the most of the sales of the season and got new jeans and boots. I have been putting it off for some time....leaving it up to a sale or something else out of my control, like the weather (it was COLD!), to control whether or not I take action on something I want or need. So starting last week I decided it was time to go after what it is I need and want, regardless of circumstance. I booked doctor's appointments for me and my son, to keep up to date on my blood work for my thyroid and investigate breathing and penal health for my son, and set in my mind to finally go after obtaining my learner's permit for driving after a 13 year hiatus (talk about letting the circumstance run your life).

This week I reflected on the events of last week and one thing really stuck out. The phrase "I don't care" sets off alarms the same, if not worse, than someone using harsh, offensive language around me. To even type the phrase makes me uneasy. It is such a STRONG phrasing regardless of what language it is said in. It comes with a body expression that reads the same across the board......a look of disgust and a shrug of the body, the expression is one of hatred and apathy, and to me, can poison your mind and corrupt your spirit.

When I was younger I remember using the phrase "je m'en fiche" which translates from french to mean "I could care less", and I truly did not care. I had a disregard for the feelings of others and even the presence of others. Now that I have chosen to be a living advocate for love, the use of "I don't care" pierces to my core and makes me aware of the challenges that others face when they bring these words into fruition in their lives. In one of my close relationships, my friend and I continually struggle against the nature of this phrase in their lives and the effect it has on them and those around them. They give up in a situation, they leave in frustration and anger, they allow the situation to become harmful and leave scars on their hearts and in their character......it becomes an obstacle and hindrance just from three simple words. And from sharing in this experience with my friend I have learned the power of choosing words that nurture our spirit and encourage our thoughts to be fruitful, loving and positive, resulting in a life we are pleased with instead of being turned off at one corner or the next.

So when I speak, I will choose my words carefully (full of care) and not invite words or phrases into my thoughts and out of my mouth that bring unwanted actions, emotions, and results into my life. I DO care!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Ahhhhh! What a feeling!

I read an interview in which the woman described herself as feeling more sexual and it made me think, what is it to "feel" more sexual?

Biologically, I can see how being involved in the reproduction process, and bringing children into the world, is intense and it can take you into seeing yourself as being a part of humanity. We can feel that we are now a part of the process of continuing on the survival of our species and partaking in the joy of having a family. When I think of what it is to be sexy I think of being more attractive to the opposite sex, being desirable, and being approachable.

As for feeling sexual, I would have to wonder if we often confuse the feeling of depth and intimacy with the "feeling" we experience when we engage is sexual contact. Sexual contact can be intimate, but intimacy is not always related to sex. Having a deep, close relationship and experiencing the joy of that relationship does not mean that sex needs to be involved. Also, in experiencing an innermost, overwhelming joy and love does not mean you are having a sexual experience. I can have a close, detailed, in-depth, encouraging, loving and joyful relationship with my children, myself, my dear friends and family and it doesn't mean that I want to have sex or feel sexual towards them. I am grateful for my marital relationship with my husband, but not every encounter with him is an intimate one.

I would like to take the opportunity to surgically remove intimacy and the joy of intimate relationships into it's own category separate, but not excluding sex. It is such a rich experience that if given the proper awareness and respect can give our lives an intense uplift and deepen our perspective of how we encounter the world and all the wonderful things available around us.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The "Me" I have come to be

A woman with her eyes open and her mind on the go. She see ways to improve and also how to appreciate and make the most of what she has. She loves to look into the eyes of the ones she loves and connect heart to heart. Loving life and growth and the potential and hope in so many things around her, she is a woman of faith and gratitude, and it makes even a dark day bright.

Throw her a football and she will run it to the end zone, kick to her a soccer ball and she will run the field. She's a woman who loves to be active, playful, and explore the space around her. She is respectful of the environments she encounters and understands not every place in the world is for her to venture into and dwell in. Play her a song and she will sing, moving to the melody and dancing with joy.

She is rich and her life is full of love. She learned to love deeply and intimately, and it fills her up with overwhelming joy. She shares it with others around her with full confidence in the gift that she gives. Wanting the best for those around her, she strives to do the best she can so she has that to help others with. She is beautiful, not for what is on the outside, but by who she is on the inside. She loves textures and colours, and the beauty in what God has created. She loves learning and knowledge, and is grateful for the understanding and wisdom God has shared with her.

She has heart, hope, and she has patience. She has love, compassion, and a willingness to strive for excellence as exampled to her by her Lord and Savior. She looks forward to the future and is grateful for the past. May she continue to grow and live life to the full.