The Stories Expectations Create.

 Good morning!

Let's talk about the stories expectations create....

This week I have been really sitting with the "gift" of my imperfections. One "story" really hit me HARD last night as I couldn't find my wallet.

I knew I had taken it out of my purse and stuck it in my coat pocket so I wouldn't have to lug around my purse for a short trip to the store (less surfaces for "germs" to land on at this time of year makes me feel better LOL).

So I checked the coat pocket. Nothing. I checked the purse...maybe I put it back...nothing. Perhaps I set it on the back of the chair with the keys...found the keys there, no wallet. I checked the kitchen landing spot...nope, not there.

At this point, I realized that I had "thought" it was in my pocket when I went for a quick pick up but it wasn't there, but I didn't get out of the car. I could only think of moving from the car to the house... so I checked the path to the car and inside and all around the car.

Then it gripped me. Not the loss of the wallet...but the scoffing disappointment of the "expectation".

"UGH!!! There you go AGAIN! Can't you get ANYTHING right??"

'DANG IT!' I replied to the "voice" in my head.

The voice is not mine. Let me be clear. MY voice was already making a list of the items in the wallet and how to go about replacing it...

The "voice" has many faces to it. Faces of the many people who have ranted those words and held those expectations over me.... and it "hurts" because it makes me sad. It makes me sad because the expectation becomes more important in that moment than what a person needs...in THAT moment last night, I wanted my grocery points card to get a few thousand free points LOL. BUT...the "expectation" wanted perfection. Years and years of people struggling with their own beliefs around "perfection" that imposed a consistent statement on me that, in turn, became an influence in my life about how I approach things.

I feel like one of our sons was BORN with that "perfectionist" bug LOL. He knows it. We talk about it. We interrupt the "voice" as often as we can. We give perspective (bigger viewpoint) to the situation at hand and he can navigate himself differently. Without heavy-handed guilt and pressure or shame. He gets to "soften" his tone toward others....toward himself We even give that "voice" a name...so that he can call "it" out into the light instead of having "it" bark at him from the shadows.

We all have some "influence" that we hold that "informs" our decisions. Whether it's from chatter in your own head or just a knee-jerk or flinch that gets you to choose differently in a moment.

This pic....it was a pic where I was in a LOW place... I was in a LOT of pain and that voice was chiming in loud and clear. I had recently survived a rollover. And the voice was constant in reminding me how I screwed up. LMBO ...I DEFINITELY knew it wasn't mine then.

I could see and recall my thoughts and words as I went through the process of "...this makes no sense...this sux....hey no!!...phase through!....put me in a bubble...@#%$... WOW!... that sux and this is great...thank you GOD!... hmmmm...it's a beautiful day...those are nice cattails...sigh, okay let's sort this out...."

The rest of that day, well....filled with awesome divine helpers and then yeah...the "voice".

My main point...as my son tried to help me look inside as I checked the car, I was reminded not to transfer negative (non serving) influence to my boys as best I can. They don't need a "voice" like that hanging over them. And I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and teach that help me, my son, and those I have shared with to deal with those "influences" in their lives...whether in their heads or in their lives.

Let's leave voices of encouragement, praise, compassion, support, appreciation, adoration, and gratitude in the heads of those around us. Let's leave a last encouragement that can be with them, even when we are not.

#thankyouGod #oneanotherlove #4Pillars #LearnyourLanguage #speakLife #LoveFirst #BeYourAdvocate #divinelySupported #weAre #GreaterStill #PersonalMastery #EmotionalResilience #Detox #bethechange #mindsetmatters