Good morning!
It's funny...it wasn't until just over a week ago that this word sank in on me, but now that the feeling is here, I would say it probably would be many people's word for 2020...
Disrupted!!
This year has come with all sorts of changes and "adjustments", hasn't it?
And for me recently, there was a shift that I can't explain...my usual morning routine went "poof" from me. It was no longer reclaimed. It was no longer renewed and upgraded. My usual hit of "inspiration" that floods in first thing was gone.
Not that I didn't have a pondering that rested in on me, but it didn't start "writing" itself like I was used to. The flow felt cut off. OY!!!
And if I was to be honest about my "2020" experience, I've been on it since 2017 actually LOL
It was hard....coming off of the amazing and expansiveness that 2016 had and that 2017 was promising to be off of the back of it.
And 2017 started off with a BANG! I was invited to speak with other community representatives about something I was passionate about...the boys shared a speech in honour of our celebration of diversity in the gift of our culture... and then yeah... Health crisis in our family.
We now had to be mindful in how we ate and drank. How we cleaned and the environment of our home had to be a bit more "green" to support recovery. No inflammation triggers, mindful of micronutrients and balance, balance, balance. Relationships became strained in our new "normal". Wanting things to just go back to the mindless, ignorant bliss of YOLO and that comes with it... wouldn't that be nice?
The heaviness of 2017 filtered into 2018 with a few unresolved conflicts and strains. (..let's just a mask over it and hope no one sees how we really feel....)
Mental health was now the big concern and focus those around me. Getting back to having a more grounded and serving perspective of the world and of "self" WHILE navigating the newness of homeschooling and building back up what was broken down through "bullying".
I KNEW 2019 HAD to be different...right? Different than what? I set an intention at the end of 2018 and showed up for it in 2019 at the start of the year in flying and living colours to be met with resistance and challenge yet again after that first coupled of months...
So what of 2020? Was it the same? Did what I describe above sound anything like what you may have experienced this year? Possibly...
And here's the thing....BECAUSE of the years I had before and the little stepping stones I set down as I journeyed through those obstacles and challenges...
Little did I know I was being set up for EXACTLY where I needed to be in 2020.
It started great. I had a post-holiday reset group going and the results people were having was great. And then I experienced a huge health set back with toxins into our home and boom, I am still recovering. It had me slow WAY down...and be present...like in 2017 for MY health and recovery. It had me showing up as an advocate and resource for conversations and support around racism and getting to know the experience of my culture, similar to 2017. It had me showing up to support others in their mindset journey and uncovering unconscious narrative so that they can be grounded in their minds and life's journeys...like in 2018. I could go on...LOL okay one more...people asking me questions about how to navigate homeschooling, since I was already "in it" with one of our sons...
And I want to ask....how has the "disruption" of 2020 strengthened you? Opened up your awareness? Connected you to "seeing" others a little more? Consider taking better care of YOUR health? Had you grounding in more with YOUR relationships and the relationship you share divinely?
If you are reading this, and have read it this far....please reflect and answer that for yourself. There are many who are not able to answer that question in THIS moment and I feel it fitting to honour that aspect with the "gift" of considering how WE will move forward NOW and into 2021.
The greatest reverence is to live your life as a gratitude for it.
(P.S. This picture was taken when I was tired...and I took it thinking "I am Here" ...Sikhona )
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