Being okay in remembering our angel babies

 This morning my heart is heavy. My tears are flowing and my bed feels full with all our angel family all around us. Grateful.

Each year, the boys and I take a moment to remember and be present...with their "siblings". We do a meal and feel the bigness and fullness of our family.

I remember sitting in the doctor's office discussing our family planning options as we were "declared " at a 25% chance of having a child and we were already one miscarriage in our relationship together. The plans to start looking into adoption and we were ready to begin the paperwork and training. 5 weeks later I went in to have a pregnancy test done and it was confirmed...we were pregnant. She was SO excited for us and then she was hit with remembering our conversation only weeks before. She started listing of cautionary statements and not to announce until later on in the pregnancy...if we get there.

Well, we didn't go through with adoption. And that child is 17 years strong. And before he was blessed with the brother he has now, there were 6 others...I mourned each one. My dear friends mourned with me (S & S ). I mourned with them. I didn't go through our losses alone. They didn't go through their losses alone.

#pregnancyandinfantloss is honoured and recognized this month. We will celebrate the gift of our whole family with smiles and imagination...and compassionate and whole hearts. And this morning, I will be okay in remembering our angel babies too.