#Day 5....my thoughts about what we use to "numb" ourselves. The other day, I felt a familiar pain in my leg that was followed by coldness and I was hoping that my leg would give birth already because this dang CLOT had moved again... (saw many "doctors" over the last 6 or so years and they refused to do anything about it until I notice it move into my thoracic region....riiiiight....self-care) I wanted something SO BAD to deal with the pain...and my first thought went to food...it kept ebbing toward food for the first part of the day....I was sad...knowing I have been using food for pain for so many years. No, I wasn't "fat", but I was carrying extra.
I will let you know...if it has to take SO many years for people to first acknowledge that there is a problem and then a year to finally get feedback...there is a disconnect. Disconnect in me to go somewhere else for help...
With that said, I started looking at other ways that doping up to numb out and disconnect was happening....for sure in my kids keeping up with the "Jones" and riding the technology waves. They aren't just being in the "know"...they are picking up on other behaviours as well. Behaviours I have seen in adults too, not just kids...and it's been growing deeper...at one of the most pinnacle times for them to learn healthy and nurturing social skills. SO this morning, they got the cut back. They do get it from time to time...this time will be longer...I know they will be fine, because they email me from school....no big loss. But they are both in a phase where I need them to connect with one another deeper, and enjoy what that feels like to be in the moment, moment to moment...we'll see.
Okay, back to studies and planning...only got less than 2 days to get er done! #muchlove #Lovefirst #kickthevice #oneanotherlove
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