Good morning!
This a bit later, but it comes on the back of digging deep and also diving in...to providing perspective, but in all of it one word stands out.
Betrayal.
If this word sits heavy for you, then know, I am there with you. Sorrow still sits heavy in the remembrance and ignorance that is still present in the moments of betrayal that I have been refined through.
I expected love. I expected acceptance. I expected kindness. I expected smiles and welcoming arms. I expected support in tough times. I expected those around me not to treat me as an outsider. I expected those who were my friends yesterday to not turn their backs to me when others were shouting accusations at me and they stood their as though on the other side. At a very early age, it was "clear" for me that there were few places I could call safe and feel the comfort of refuge and safety. And even today, my own sons witness countless moments where, not so much betrayal, but preconceived notions about what we can bring to the table gets in the way of what and who we actually are. And it still feels like betrayal. Why? Because when we go out into the world, we choose to love others. It feels natural to go out joyfully and greet others with a smile and a hello. And for some, that sting or the shrinking back may have taken its toll on us over the years. How it has manifested in the lives of those around us all is varied. We really don't know what coping mechanisms came forth to "defend" us in the hurt. What ideals that we allowed to influence our judgment and perceptions. But I can honestly say, that I know I am not alone.
I have spent much time choosing to shift the narrative and perspective into one that encompasses more of what it would look like and feel like in a space of unity and recognition instead of divisiveness that cuts us off from the gift of truly experiencing the wonder within each and every one of us...
We ARE diverse and multi-faceted. We ARE willing and able. We ARE joyful, valuable, and contributing. We are intelligent, insightful, and wise. Who is "we"? We as a family. "We" as the individuals that make up the family.
And the picture, viewpoint and family is even bigger than that.
So the question I pose to myself (and you too) is....Am I willing to see a bigger picture and use a more unifying (not homogenizing) language in order to build up those around me as well as myself to another level of seeing myself and others? Am I willing to allow the gift of the perspective of another to broaden my own? Am I willing to be naturally kind, loving, welcoming and enthusiastic when in the grace of the presence of another? DO I celebrate them? Those are the thoughts and questions that light ME up and soothe my soul even when betrayal is possible. It makes my heart soften and my gratitude grow.
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