WOW! Today is a RELEASE day!

 Good morning!

WOW! Today is a RELEASE day!

Yesterday I was sharing with OUR boys about some of my childhood experiences. I was chiming in about not taking crappy behaviour from someone else and knowing the space you stand in.....how I was often told to "shut up" and "get lost"....or that I am "weird" and "too deep"...and "no one is going to date you dressed like that." .....That I am "crazy" and a "liar"...

Can you guess what my response was to most of it?

Frustration. Most of the time, I didn't even need to say a word and insults would start flying my way. I just had to walk into the room. It was already someone's decision on what they would "expect" from me and then the spew-age would flow from their mouths. Often I would respond, "okay" and just leave it there. Sometimes it was right, so why argue. Most times they insisted on being right and I learned, why argue.

Did it build in me a hard heart or an attitude? Maybe. I can recall my former viewpoint of humanity and....I can also remember being celebrated for my EXISTENCE by my Mama and Papa I especially loved the sadness and heartbreak of my Mama...looking days and even weeks out, knowing we would not be in each other's presence. She was such an overthinker, often the pessimist, and ALWAYS sooooo good at cherishing me And Papa, he was playful and light hearted. WOW! Cheezies, and ginger candies, and mint candies always would be in his pocket ready to share with us.

You see, today...I LAUGH!! I laugh at the amazing DEPTHS of contrast that I was gifted within my life. I am crying from the DEPTHS of my heart and soul, cherishing deeply as my Mama cherished me. And sitting in the gift of KNOWING, through all my experiences, exactly what the good that I choose to live now FEELS like. I am so thankful to my Mama for sharing EXACTLY where her thoughts were and how she was feeling. It was so raw and revealed. So open-hearted.

I know....that there are MANY, many people who do not allow themselves to connect into the resonance of the GOOD in their life because "feeling" and "emotion" was vilified and distorted in meaning to the point that to "go there" would be wrong. But where does discernment truly get to show up if rational rules that were taught to us have disconnected us from the "wisdom" we personally gain from going through the thing and experiencing the lessons, gifts, and "signposts" along the way....?

I used to rationalize humanity and "it's" presence. To a point where sometimes it made me seem as though I was very cold and calculated on the outside. Very scientific...very mathematical. But it wasn't until I truly ALLOWED the fullness and wholeness of humanity to hit me (it's a "crazy" story, that's for sure ) that all of who I am and the gift of it (including the crap ) brought me through to seeing, being, "feeling" and experiencing more beyond what I thought I could imagine.

I still apply scientific and mathematical thinking to humanity, but from such a different viewpoint that it often leaves me in awe and wonder. How AMAZING we all are, even when we think that seeing others "small" serves us in any way.

Can you....allow yourself....to SEE into your frustration and look for that true gem of love, compassion.....can you look into your sadness and be okay with loving your family and others so deeply that you could cry from the ecstasy....can we sit with the uneasiness of "closeness" to allow yourself to know that deep "intimate" appreciation for others is not isolated to a few around you....that you can actually CARE and connect with people on a deep soul level that they become a part of you in a way that is often uncomfortable and feels "weird".....

Let's look deep today people...our souls are crying out to be seen today

#thankyouGod #depthofsoul #Lovefirst #thankyouPapaandMama #IAMLove #LIFEtotheFull #ALLofit #BE #WeCan #weARE #oneanotherlove #2020vision #Sawubona