Good mawning!
Can we talk?
How often, when you are in pain do you want it to just GO AWAY!?
You run for your nearest go-to drug or feel-good sedative of choice and hope it works so you can get “back” to whatever it was you were doing.
But what if what you were doing contributed to the symptom of “pain” that caused you discomfort? What IF… your response to discomfort is what brings you aversion and pain?
Do you run or question when you notice you are sad?
Do you avoid or try to help diminish or “fix” when others are in a low place or sad?
I ask this because this past week, the word “suicide” has come to the forefront. And it has been said…that these young and beautiful people had so much “LIFE” ahead of them and so much to live for…
But do we sit with them in the “gap” of accomplishment and success on the way to the next big thing that we will notice, celebrate, and show up for?
How many “main events” are on this path of life that we acknowledge? And how much of the other “mundane”, boring, and ordinary or even LESS than wanted stuff bridges the gaps?
It makes me wonder, ponder, question…. What is in THOSE moments that we are truly missing when we are sharing life’s journey with those that we love…?
I personally think that… OUR SOCIETY has “trained” us into making those “things”/feelings/emotions/experiences so uncomfortable and now we are swinging on the pendulum in the opposite and extreme direction and missing the whole process entirely.
Both extremes, of trying to diminish and then trying to “talk” about it are missing much of the process….that we spend more time in than we think.
Yes, there is gratitude, yes there is bringing it out into the open, yes there is finding coping skills and rewiring how we approach these thoughts, etc.
And there is also having the awareness of being in the “space” of it to see what’s going on… to process and identify the triggers, to work through retraining our “response” to the stress and stimulation so we experience a different outcome.
MANY people are NOT willing to be in that “space” with someone, and yet we all have some form of an experience that doesn’t “sit” well with us.
Not every moment is going to be “LEGO-movie-awesome”. So moments aren’t going to feel familiar or comfortable, or easy. So may even cause us to want to avoid or turn the other way.
What is needed so that we can stand in that more common space of the process with others instead of only showing up for the party or the win?
Compassion? Being okay with being IN the not okay spaces without it affecting us as much?
It really does take a personal journey to shift your own response to things you avoid, and don’t like to see that… it’s just a thing. It’s a common thing…. And it’s a temporary thing. We, as humans, are well-versed with a spread of emotions, thoughts, feelings, behaviours and they are not all happening at the same time.
I’m willing. I’m willing to be in that space, because I have been in that “space” in my life more often than “society” would like to hear about.
I’ve been in that “space” of being mocked by professionals that people go to have the “space” to talk about such things. I’ve been avoided while in rough spots and then flocked to when things were going well and wins were being made. It’s in THOSE moments that a cold comfort washes over me… that remind me that some people will show up just for the win and the fun and the play and you won’t see them in your regular moments. AND…there are those that walk with you in your low and ordinary moments that seldom get any praise or thanks.
SO, my challenge to you and myself today,... thank and acknowledge those people who are with you in the mundane, boring and ordinary in your life. Thank those that keep building you up, regardless of where you are at in your life’s experience. Thank those that think of you and touch base with you, not out of fear of loss, but out of a heartfelt desire to touch base with your presence.
It’s that presence in life we GET to celebrate and honour. Good or bad…high or low.
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