3 ways you can “coach” yourself.

 3 ways you can “coach” yourself.

1. Immersion

2. Integration/application

3. Share with others

I expressed in a conversation recently, that the reason I am “here” today where I am and as I am is through having had a coach to support me. 

Yes, it is great to have friends and partners that you can share life with and grow with. They CAN help to support you and move you forward if that is the type of person they are in your life. However, that’s not always the case. Their journey may take them across the country or into different social circles, and that is OKAY. 

So, depending on the type of goal I have had (nutrition, fitness, mindset, finances, business…) I have had coaching to stretch my mindset and to move me further in my own growth and awareness.

AND, if you feel you are good in the area of general life support and you can make things happen in your life, you can be your own accountability with the 3 things I listed above.

You can immerse yourself in the knowledge, conversations, lifestyle, and experiences of the goal and life habit you want to reach and be proficient in. It takes making a schedule that includes these lifestyle “connections” into your daily routine. You would look at the places that goal will take you and then being in that space. For myself, being in the conversations of mindset for example meant showing up on live videos on social media, Q and A calls, Zoom chats with like-minded people on a similar path toward the same goal, and listening to videos and podcasts. It also meant the possibility of showing up to live events and being immersed in the experience that way. 

From being in those spaces and conversations, you can take the tips and practices and then start into point #2, which is integration and application. Start playing with it and applying these tips and habits into your OWN days. Schedule it in and track it. See how it is working for you over a set amount of time, not just a one and done thing. Give it a few weeks and see how it’s working for you and then you can make tweaks and small adjustments for yourself in one direction or the other. My favourite example of taking information and making it my own was free videos I received from subscribing to an email list for a mom’s fitness group. I only did the exercises I saw in the video and that was it! No added sets. It was when my kids were young and any time I moved they thought I was dancing and want to jump in. So I just did a few minutes with intensity, ALL IN! And I committed to doing it that way for weeks before I added another set. I had seen results just from the few minutes done a 3 or 4 times a week and wanted more. I kept it real simple and then layered in just a bit more and saw even more improvements. After that, I bought their program and received their coaching support. 

And last tip that I found really helped to keep myself accountable was being ready and willing to share it with others. When the results were showing themselves, many people asked questions. And because I had been mindful and consistent with what I was doing and how it was working, I could readily share those steps and practices with others so that they could apply it in their lives as well. If I was going to be talking about it, I wanted to be active in living it. And being actively mindful of how I was living it, brought people to me to ask questions. I was at the grocery store picking up a product and a lady who had been watching me, stopped me to ask questions about how I use it. She was interested in the product, but also wanted to hear how I was using it. After I shared, she noted that it was evident that I used it. “You are a walking billboard” a friend once said to me, and I guess she was right. The more I teach from what I know, the more I grow in what I know as well.

But having shared and taught from what I have learned, trained in, and practiced for myself, I know that I am “able” to coach myself and keep myself accountable with the simple steps I want to take. I also believe others are capable of it as well.

ANDDDDDD, I also know there are times in our lives, where we NEED that extra support, accountability, and encouragement. And I have found that the coaches in my life have really helped me through some rough spots and gotten me through to the other side with the success I was looking for. 

SO, much success to you in your own journey. Whether you choose to be your own accountability or supported by a coach. Both are valuable and helpful in this life’s journey of living our lives more fully and filling 💖

Maybe now is the time I was created for

 Good mawning

This morning I was reminded about the coming holidays, and one that continues to inspire me is the Jewish observation of Purim.

For many reasons it inspires me and so I read the whole book of Esther. And it lines up with much of what we have been seeing in the world right now.

And maybe now is the time I was created for. To speak up and advocate for myself and for my people...through the avenue of Love.

This is a time where the wave of unity and laying down identity is being done from and by many who are often overlooked, assumed of, and marginalized.

I, as much as I may not shout about, am an outlier. I am often the "exception". And if my life wasn't woven with so many "opportunities" to stand in it that space, I would think I am being sensitive...but I am not.

I voice on behalf of many others who are silenced and ignored, or even avoided.

It's not that you don't have compassion for your fellow human being, but certain programming disconnects us. Let's see a bigger picture unfolding...

So I read from my Bible, prayed, and savoured the sights and messages of unity today. #oneanotherlove

#ThankyouGod #gratitude #Divinegifts #INjoy #seeoneanother #compassion #Sawubona #LoveFirst

In silence. Pain. Patience. Love.

Good mawning!

...In silence.

I woke up this morning.

As I laid there, many thoughts came to me…of many things I live and have the gift to share from in this lifetime, if I can.

The first pondering was centered around pain….

And the loving AND unloving responses that follow. Much in action is chosen out of the avoidance of “future” pain.

It’s “survival”.

But what lies at the core of the decision for some is from a space and level of love that elicit very UNIQUE choices.

How do we mitigate “suffering” with continued pain? Coping mechanisms? Seeing “suffering” in a different light?

It put my mind into remembering a “piece” that was done on the practice of organ harvesting. And how a family, that was kept together, were being harvested from. They said their faith made them prime candidates for it. You could see that at their core they valued being together, in faith and love, as being of the highest value in order to deal with the continued pain.

How can I compare the pain I may experience to that? Or even to those that moved and hid their children so they could be spared from the life that their parents were living. How about those that chose to have their children deny them so that they could “pass” in a space of avoid the same pain and suffering… to avoid “allowable”, supported, and “legal” acts such as lynching to be done.

Or the experience of “trauma”? And the neurological effects that follow and cause many mental health challenges, physiological experiences, and behaviours that are not accepted as normal and seen as broken or flawed.

The circumstances that sit as uncomfortable, painful, traumatic…and the windfall of experiences and choices that follow…THAT is a space that many avoid facing yet much support is needed. Much LOVE is needed. Empathy. And yes, even compassion, suffering WITH.

We want more compassion in this world, but it’s not an easy space to sit in if you reflect on the origin of the word. But in the space of choosing to start with yourself, and observe the “uncomfortables”, the “uneasy”, even the “repulsive” parts of your experience…do you get to start feeling into these loving (and unloving) choices that are being made. From yourself and by others.

Other thoughts came in as well… neurodiversity, intersectionality, autoimmunity, allowing once segregated people to choose to do unifying things, forgiveness, standing IN love, loving beyond “condition”…

There is a beautiful “deepening” going on…if you will allow yourself to see it.

Happy “Love” day to you all 💖

#thankyouGod #LoveFirst #painandsuffering #copingmechanisms #Empathy #compassion #Neurodiversity #Mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mindsetmatters #oneanotherlove #vulnerability #survival #survivors #Sawubona #BiggerPicture #patience #silence

Heart shaped chocolate cake for family love day

 

Heart shaped chocolate cake for family love day aka hubby's birthday. Already had waffles for breakfast.

#familygoals #reframe #oneanotherlove #glutenfree #dairyfree #vegan #vegetarian #plantbased #chocolate #baking #valentines

Pay it forward energy.

 Good mawning!

Pay it forward energy.

As a relay racer passes takes the baton and makes the “most” of the “gap” they’ve been given in order to meet the next recipient on the other side, there is an immense power and energy in the exchange that gets overlooked.

The other night/morning (it was a sleepless night of “rest”) as I laid there, I pondered the practice of seeing myself throwing the gift of the good state I was in into the future as a support along my own journey.  The intent was, that as I was “found” by that energy in the future, I would take the gift of that energy, let it infuse me, and then from the enriched state in which I was in, I would “pay it forward” by infusing that energy with added goodness and launch it forward, as much and as many as I like into the unknown void that our futures are.

As with the relay racer, their thoughts are not only on making the most and best of their person while they are in the spotlight, but in also considering that the work and love, and energy of their performance while carrying the baton MATTERS to the performance and race that the next relay racer will experience. They are considering the fact that, if they do the best that they can, it makes it easier for the next person to show up supported in the best they will be showing up with as well.

Imagine if… the gift of the goodness we put into what it is that we do in life, infused with the love and effort, amplifies the support we give to ourselves in our future, so that we can show up to support and flow through with amplified energy to meet with the next version of ourselves and so on.

And the gifting of the energy is not linear or numbered as well as the amplifying of that energy in the future… it radiates with its support in exponential possibility.

This is the gift of BEING within your presence. You get to receive from the supportive energy of the “passed baton”, you get to amplify the energy that is being passed, as you go forward and run a good race, radiating the goodness of both what was passed to you AND how you are adding to it, and then YOU will pass on that energy into your own future and the future of those “present” with you (in this time and space).

Your journey MATTERS! Your presence… it MATTERS! Your gift of receiving and then passing it on and paying it forward, MATTERS!

So today, see and receive the “batons” of support being passed to you… through the practice of observation and gratitude. And know, that you get to amplify and share it with others as well.

Thank YOU for the GIFT and SUPPORT of YOUR presence in this life <3 Sawubona!

#thankyouGod #inpresence #runtherace #payitforward #beingsupported #Divinelysupported #Divinegifts #YouAre #IAm #WeAre #greaterstill #oneanotherlove #Ubuntu #Ngikhona #Sawubona #Amplify #Lovefirst #Gratitude #youmatter #mentalhealth #mindsetmatters

cheezy garlic quinoa stuffed mushroom caps

 

Last night's dinner highlight... cheezy garlic quinoa stuffed mushroom caps... courtesy @z3_maker .

We'll be trying that one again

#familymeal #glutenfree #dairyfree #vegan #vegetarian #plantbased #Harvestthegood #trysomethingnew

Can we talk? About the uncomfortable spaces

 Good mawning!

Can we talk?

How often, when you are in pain do you want it to just GO AWAY!?

You run for your nearest go-to drug or feel-good sedative of choice and hope it works so you can get “back” to whatever it was you were doing.

But what if what you were doing contributed to the symptom of “pain” that caused you discomfort? What IF… your response to discomfort is what brings you aversion and pain?

Do you run or question when you notice you are sad?

Do you avoid or try to help diminish or “fix” when others are in a low place or sad?

I ask this because this past week, the word “suicide” has come to the forefront. And it has been said…that these young and beautiful people had so much “LIFE” ahead of them and so much to live for…

But do we sit with them in the “gap” of accomplishment and success on the way to the next big thing that we will notice, celebrate, and show up for?

How many “main events” are on this path of life that we acknowledge? And how much of the other “mundane”, boring, and ordinary or even LESS than wanted stuff bridges the gaps?

It makes me wonder, ponder, question…. What is in THOSE moments that we are truly missing when we are sharing life’s journey with those that we love…?

I personally think that… OUR SOCIETY has “trained” us into making those “things”/feelings/emotions/experiences so uncomfortable and now we are swinging on the pendulum in the opposite and extreme direction and missing the whole process entirely.

Both extremes, of trying to diminish and then trying to “talk” about it are missing much of the process….that we spend more time in than we think.

Yes, there is gratitude, yes there is bringing it out into the open, yes there is finding coping skills and rewiring how we approach these thoughts, etc.

And there is also having the awareness of being in the “space” of it to see what’s going on… to process and identify the triggers, to work through retraining our “response” to the stress and stimulation so we experience a different outcome.

MANY people are NOT willing to be in that “space” with someone, and yet we all have some form of an experience that doesn’t “sit” well with us.

Not every moment is going to be “LEGO-movie-awesome”. So moments aren’t going to feel familiar or comfortable, or easy. So may even cause us to want to avoid or turn the other way.

What is needed so that we can stand in that more common space of the process with others instead of only showing up for the party or the win?

Compassion? Being okay with being IN the not okay spaces without it affecting us as much?

It really does take a personal journey to shift your own response to things you avoid, and don’t like to see that… it’s just a thing. It’s a common thing…. And it’s a temporary thing. We, as humans, are well-versed with a spread of emotions, thoughts, feelings, behaviours and they are not all happening at the same time.

I’m willing. I’m willing to be in that space, because I have been in that “space” in my life more often than “society” would like to hear about.

I’ve been in that “space” of being mocked by professionals that people go to have the “space” to talk about such things. I’ve been avoided while in rough spots and then flocked to when things were going well and wins were being made. It’s in THOSE moments that a cold comfort washes over me… that remind me that some people will show up just for the win and the fun and the play and you won’t see them in your regular moments. AND…there are those that walk with you in your low and ordinary moments that seldom get any praise or thanks.

SO, my challenge to you and myself today,... thank and acknowledge those people who are with you in the mundane, boring and ordinary in your life. Thank those that keep building you up, regardless of where you are at in your life’s experience. Thank those that think of you and touch base with you, not out of fear of loss, but out of a heartfelt desire to touch base with your presence.

It’s that presence in life we GET to celebrate and honour. Good or bad…high or low.

#thankyouGod #divinepresence #letstalk #allthefeelings #itsokaytonotbeokay #itsmorecommon #Lovefirst #oneanotherlove #compassion #joyinthemundane #extraintheordinary #lifetothefull #Sawubona #unityinHumanity

Back to Life. Navigating seasonal shifts in our journey

 Good mawning.

Back to life.

Last night I noticed my little in-house maple was budding.

OMG! I'm SO EXCITED!

Because honestly, as it was losing leaves when Autumn arrived, I thought I may have "contributed" to the demise of yet another house plant.

But there is a big difference with this one. It's not really a houseplant. I guess most "houseplants" aren't really houseplants. My intention was to try my hand at nurturing the sapling in a different environment.

And so I expected the possibility of it going through seasonal shifts.

Little did I know that I too was embarking on my own "seasonal" shifting.

Loss of dear friends and family. Loss in relationships and clients ... loss of hopeful employment. Week after week and month after month.

A huge pile of continual "shift" to sort through.

And yet, while all the leaves fell, I still gave this tree a bit of water to drink. I wasn't going to uproot the whole thing because I was impatient for this "season" to pass.

And for me, I wasn't going to uproot the whole thing for myself and my life either. I kept myself "watered". Kept journalling even though at times I would only be able to do 1 or 2 of the 4 (or 5) pillar practice I use. Kept pushing myself into the possibility of hope, and new growth, and a new life on the other side of it all. Kept in touch with those that were willing to be a support in the grief and "shift".

And as this little maple tree is coming out of its hibernation, it looks like my "new growth" and changes are coming forward as well.

I'm thankful for the "seasons". I'm grateful for the fact that they are temporary. And I am sure glad that I didn't give up on the tree OR myself during the darkest moments.

There is a process to growth and to life. And we ARE actively participating in it. It makes things a little smoother though when we are intentional with our participation.

Are you going through seasonal shifts right now? What season do you feel you are in? And do you need a little "watering" or support right now?

If so, feel free to reach out to someone who you trust. I am also willing to chat if you need.

Now off to give my little friend a drink for today.

#ThankyouGod #gratitude #DivineGifts #seasonal #selfcare #fromwithin #LoveFirst #bepatient #growthmindset #trusttheprocess #simpleandconsistent #CommitToToday #lifetothefull #griefandloss