Not judging myself for experiencing gluten exposure on the weekend

 Good morning!

WOW! I feel "fat" today LOL. I experienced some gluten exposure on the weekend, which bloats me ALL over my body. I had some seriously sharp cramps in my gut and then the bloating started... as much as I don't want to "own" the diagnoses, I do experience Celiac....and I am okay with that. I even saw a picture of myself and saw how distended my belly was. THAT moment in seeing that and then not being able to eat without wanting to gag....honestly this weekend will probably sit for a long time in my memory as one that I felt a distinct separation from what was happening in my body and what I felt in my spirit.

You see, years ago I would have been in a more fearful state about the damage that is being done that I can't see...I wasn't fully able to connect in with my body to know how to "fix" it in those situations and it would get me down pretty quick....and that's where I would start on myself to take better care of my body. But today, I'm not beating myself up about the exposure and the choice I made. Not to say that there isn't a "critical" voice in that headspace of mine groaning with disappointment for coming "off track" as it were, but I have a much LOUDER voice in my head that is celebrating as well as chiming in with compassion.

"Bah! That DID suck. You totally missed the label with that one and it's a good thing you know how to rebound from this. Focus on not being in brain fog and the rest will follow....." The primary ethos in my head now is "No judgment zone". It doesn't mean that "judgment" doesn't chime in from time to time, but then it shifts to compassion and accountability pretty quick. I still experience resistance to moving forward in the "right" direction....or the direction of my goals and aligning to what I "know". I am grateful and I know it's common for others to feel and experience that too. We all get bogged down from time to time....the key is knowing you don't "have to" stay there for any amount of time....you can shift in whatever time you choose....for me right now, quicker is better.

I'm saying all this to SIMPLY say ....we all may stumble at times and not feel at our fullest or best, but we are supported more than we know or sometimes, more than we allow. I allowed myself to feel supported and reminded about my health this weekend instead of crashing and hiding out until I felt better. And I am using it as a springboard for this week...who knew?? I am actually super hyped to be going in a different direction that also aligns with where my family is shifting as well. I like it better as a journey with others instead of just me. It can be hard at times to shift in a new direction, and that's where grace and compassion as we learn or apply something makes a big difference as we work towards achieving the life we want to be living. With that, have a great day today

#thankyouGod #happybellytime #supported #compaasionate #grateful #daybyday #progressnotperfection #wegotthis

Honour, respect, celebrate, AND appreciate the relationships you have in your life

 Good morning!

Greater wisdom has been gained this week, both through allowing a message to be shared, that translated into a challenge accepted, that now comes with a living example for future reference (filing it away in the "toolbox" for later use ).

Do you feel that you honour, respect, celebrate, AND appreciate the relationships you have in your life? And the ones that we naturally start thinking about are those that are close to us....our loved ones. Do you honour your mother and father? Do you share gratitude for those in your close circle of influence? Maybe you do...and maybe you wish you were a better friend, better mother, better partner....what ever it is, give it a thought....

And now, do you recognize the POWER of influence your consistent relationships have over your life? Those who you are around consistently....what are they like? How do you see that influencing who you are? ....OH WAIT!!! Did you see that? We forgot about a pretty vital relationship.....YOU!!!!

HOW ON EARTH are you going to be able to distinguish WHAT influence and impact is being made ON you unless you recognize the "WHO" of who you are in the first place? Too often people just take in info and influence like a sponge and pack it on like clay....a lot of that has to do with how we are trained to take things in and what we "should" be focusing on, not realizing that we are being "affected" in the "background" of the activities of life....we end up mindlessly molding ourselves into something we had no idea we were creating (well actually, on a passive level, you allowed "whatever" to be formed through not giving it more thought, but that is a later discussion...) . And then we find that we may be struggling all over the place with relating to others.

So....Today, I am re-centering back on enjoying the "Me" that I am. AND I will be out in nature reflecting with my bird-brothers and squirrel-sisters as we move together, living and breathing, and appreciating how I can grow more beneficial in the relationships around me as well as the relationship WITHIN me

Have a great weekend!

#thankyouGod #INjoy #notWithoutJoy #breathe #weareconnected #oneanotherlove #ItsAboutOurRelationships #DivineGifts #NewLevels

Signalling in traffic. A metaphor to indicating our intentions

 Good morning!

LOL! Gotta love the stuff you get to experience while driving....this morning, as I was coming into a traffic circle, the person in front of me didn't use their signal so I just chose to take a different route. And as I spoke to the person in front of me (you know, because people can actually hear you when you intend for them to pick up what you are saying from inside your car.... ), I asked, 'Are you going to use your signal?'. ROFL, well, as soon as I asked, they did ....WRONG!! I was laughing ....with gratitude because I chose to change lanes, ...laughing because of the "timely" response, and laughing because simply, I realized in that moment, that people may not know how to indicate their intentions to others and that's why they don't do things that others would expect them to do, and maybe why so many walk around confused....

I realized in that moment, that I really "don't know" and "know" at the same time by what people present at the time....

Are you feeling confused? Well, this past week I learned that maybe we actually DON'T get confused at all. We are giving our focus and attention to things that don't serve us and we can get caught up in that loop , playing things over and over...and over again in our mind trying to conclude and make sense of it....when in fact, if we just shift our focus repetitively in the direction we DO want to be giving our attention to, things would change and we would begin to "see" the clarity before us. And find a way where we thought there wasn't a way to figure things out....

Signalling in traffic is not FOR YOU at all (unless you like the sound of the clicking like I do LOL). It's for everyone else who is on the journey, travelling the same road as you along the way. They can make allowances for your needs to flow through to get to where you want to get to, BUT it flows much smoother when we are indicating our intentions in some way to be supported in our journey.

How often do we make "off the cuff" decisions without letting others know or getting advice? It can be done....and it's funny how sometimes, some of those decisions would have played out a bit smoother with a little consideration of the other players involved and some trusted feedback ahead of time...

So yeah, maybe they just don't know how to signal through traffic circles, but at least they tried to signal and give others a heads up.

Let's try and give focus forward to where it is we are wanting to go WITH consideration of who is there around us along the way.

#thankyouGod #justdontknow #everyonewantsbetter #oneanotherlove #focusforward #Flowful #fulfilling #lifetothefull #bettertogether

Easter Sunday pic

 Looking sharp and fancy

A great sunny day to remember a great love #ThankyouJesus

Supporting and believing in my immune system...and myself

 Good morning! (While it's still morning where I am)

I'm just working on a little presentation that I will be sharing tomorrow morning at church...a testimonial as it were...(if you are interested, send me a PM and I can pass along the details...)

And many thoughts have been coming up.....moreso around the fact that this past week has been a bit challenging. I have personally felt as though I was "under the weather". Which is very possibly true, but it just looked like I had a late night and could use a nap....I trust that I have a strong immune system because I put in the work to keep it that way....most of the time. This week though, I don't feel as though I put that work in. I didn't eat like how I wanted to...mainly because I didn't want to eat....but I ate because "having to" eat means that I will also cook for my family. But honestly, sometimes we actually don't "need to" do the things we think we "have to" or "should" do.

And this ties into where my thoughts are this morning....I honestly "get to" choose who and HOW I get to be in each day. And because someone else made the choice that they "get to" BE something bigger than just enough for themselves, I "get to" enjoy that freedom in my life too. Choice....and loving BIG enough that it encompasses others... Loving with such strong passion, that it blasts through all our excuses to stay disconnected or self-serving in behaviours that actually don't serve us very well ( I know, sometimes we think it's because we deserve something, but when we actually look at it, is it the most loving choice we would give to ourselves?).

I don't "have to" feel stuck or burdened....and I "get to" choose to feel released from burdens or behaviours that don't serve to my highest needs....

I "get to" love others freely and not hold MYSELF under judgment worrying what others might think if I choose to love freely...

Even just the thought of it feels like sunlight pushing through the clouds and warming my face.

Have a great weekend everyone. MUCH Love

#thankyouGod #divinegifts #burdenislight #thatImaychoose #LoveFirst #oneanotherlove

Managing the flow of up-front-bulk of "at-our-feet" abundance

 Good morning! It feels like it has been a while...with dodgy connection issues, I haven't posted as much and instead, headed out into the sunshine and made the most it

I definitely have been enjoying much of my time with my boys and after experimenting in the kitchen this past weekend, my ponderings have developed into a statement...."managing abundance".

The flow and experience of those cinnamon rolls we made this weekend had us thinking about how to scale back the recipe to maximize the taste experience while reducing the bulk. We modified a regular recipe, and I doubt if we did it the same way as the recipe recommended it would be much different. It was SO filling!! And a bit much actually that I didn't want to eat much more after it....we were just stuffed LOL. It didn't feel great. And as much as the taste of it wasn't over the top goodness like some of our other recipes, it wasn't that bad that we didn't want to eat . But we all decided that it did need to be scaled down and maximized...smaller portions with all the goodness.

So I pondered, what if this life.....that we are living, is the result of managing the flow of up-front-bulk of "at-our-feet" abundance...??? What if ....we have taken on filters, biases, and judgments to put off or even narrow the flow of everything we want coming to us all at once? What if it really IS all right there in front of our faces and waiting for us to use it? That could feel like the "fire hose" effect . One turn and it's FULL BLAST in our face LOL.

So what about this abundance in our lives? What if we did put "limits" and screens, and filters to see only what we want to see in any given moment to block out most of this abundance flooding in?....what if we get so used to the experience of narrowing the flow that it gets passed on through generations....to the point of even forgetting that it's all up-front , waiting and available to begin with? What if, in divine conception, we are created already managing the flow in more bite-sized chunks with the condition of having to ASK for more if we would like another "bite"?

I asked our boy if he was full because he left a large amount left on the plate. He said he would get back to finishing it later, but he was actually turned off by how full it made him feel. Really, it wasn't a big size as what he had had in the past...different gluten-free cinnamon rolls, but made with a different flour.

What if, we are turned off by the "too much" of the options and resources that are placed at our feet? Would that make you feel overwhelmed? I know for me I can get overwhelmed by having all the options show up at once and then feeling like I have to rush to make a choice. I implied the "pressure" into the situation....WHY?? Why did I feel that I needed to rush through making a decision? Why can't I take a moment to sit back with all the options laid out before me and feel into what is a "best fit" for me and that serves to a greater/bigger picture experience? So I have...I added the "space/time" clause when considering options. I don't "jump" because I am rushed or haste is implied. Probably from the experience that then it becomes a reaction and not a choice on my part....I like there being a "gap" between stimulus and response (thanks to BCAP for putting that experience into words), so that I can use my gift of "choice" wisely.

As a common expression leads into, it's about taking it one bite at a time. Take time to chew. Take a moment to savour. Allow a bit more time to digest. It can feel overwhelming when you think you have to take it all in at once, but we don't have to keep creating "limits" and "restrictions" that cut us off completely when having to make a choice from an assortment of options. Choice is a high level currency and spending it well should take consideration.

My son said he would get back to the rest of the cinnamon roll when he was ready. And he did....the next day . What if, we "reframed" it from the idea of "limiting"/"separating"/"cutting-off", and set perimeters by which we get to CHOOSE from the "buffet" for what we need in the moment?....what we have the capacity for at that time?...and even giving ourselves the opportunity to allow for time to process what it is we would like to enjoy or experience in the first place. Can we have a vision that helps us to make those choices more clear and helps us to better see from the PILE of abundance in front of us what it is that helps bring us into our vision? Yeah....I think so. Taking in the already available support and resources for our lives...bite by bite, day by day, a bit at a time.

#thankyouGod #divinegifts #timeisaGrace #LifetotheFull #haveavision #writeyourstory #choiceiscurrency #daybyday #generationalchange

A reflection on my dad and “happy”

 Good morning!

LOL there are just words swimming in my head....and then in the background of the "clutter", a soft voice says...'describe the pain.'

I used to feel like I was being wrapped up in a blanket full of thorns. "Why can't I have just ONE happy day!?!?!" Yes, my days would never be one in the same...there was never ever two that looked alike....like prickly, stabbing snowflakes they fell. Many nights I would just be crying to myself. My heart was heavy and very alone. My flesh felt like it was being ripped off with coarse sandpaper from the statements, judgments, and disconnection I experienced daily....the rawness of what was built from those experiences still lives on today. There was a big part of me that longed for this perfect picture that would never come....and because "perfect" was never satisfied, I ultimately would NOT get the "Happy" I was looking for...from where I was hoping it would eventually be.

And in all that there was one....who shared how to find "Happy" even though they were being bashed, judged, maligned, and scoffed at along side me. They showed me how to sneak off, take a deep breath, and then resume my OWN personal company with "happy" and "joy" sitting at the table. They showed me how to enjoy even the simplest of things....like smoothing out paste and the sound your hands make when they have been in water too long from washing things. A childlike joy that could never be taken away as long as you could just allow yourself the space to be in that moment. How as much as they wanted to blame others for their prickly discomfort and feelings of loneliness, they would sigh through the sadness and anger and tears, and then find that space to shift focus and enjoy the mastery in the miracle within the small and ordinary. Attention to detail and gratitude for wholehearted mastery that could flow through their fingers and hands. Such a DEEP resonance of love that was shared with me that saved me from the thorns....

Today, I am grateful....that I do not break from the slightest breeze (although I never have)... or react out of disappointment and conclude the judgments against me as true (even though I would get mad and angry, I used the 'sigh through sadness' to bring back to that "me" space). I can remember that I tried to blame others and circumstances as to WHY I couldn't get my "happy" ....it was hard to be grounded and rooted when you are constantly being "dug up". But I kept going for more and more "space" so that I could get more time to really get around to being "me". And in that I could see, that happy is where happiness is ALLOWED. And in the circumstances that didn't feel happy, happiness was just not "happening"!! It wasn't allowed or invited to the table....and I wanted to be in its company, so I had to go to where "it" was welcome....within me....within the nurturing relationships in my life...

Who or what are you WELCOMING to sit at YOUR table? When things don't go 'your" way, do you open the door when 'misery', 'despair', and 'judgment" knocks? Or do you have an "open door" policy for Love, and Joy, and Happy to show up?

So I say...."Welcome!! Come on in! It's a bit messy but we are not here to judge. There is tea in the cupboard, and water in the kettle. There's fresh snacks in the fridge...and Love abounds here "

#thankyouGod #circleofinfluence #chooseyourResponse #oneanotherlove #Lovefirst #Welcome #makespace #bringaSmile #grateful