WOW! Today is a RELEASE day!

 Good morning!

WOW! Today is a RELEASE day!

Yesterday I was sharing with OUR boys about some of my childhood experiences. I was chiming in about not taking crappy behaviour from someone else and knowing the space you stand in.....how I was often told to "shut up" and "get lost"....or that I am "weird" and "too deep"...and "no one is going to date you dressed like that." .....That I am "crazy" and a "liar"...

Can you guess what my response was to most of it?

Frustration. Most of the time, I didn't even need to say a word and insults would start flying my way. I just had to walk into the room. It was already someone's decision on what they would "expect" from me and then the spew-age would flow from their mouths. Often I would respond, "okay" and just leave it there. Sometimes it was right, so why argue. Most times they insisted on being right and I learned, why argue.

Did it build in me a hard heart or an attitude? Maybe. I can recall my former viewpoint of humanity and....I can also remember being celebrated for my EXISTENCE by my Mama and Papa I especially loved the sadness and heartbreak of my Mama...looking days and even weeks out, knowing we would not be in each other's presence. She was such an overthinker, often the pessimist, and ALWAYS sooooo good at cherishing me And Papa, he was playful and light hearted. WOW! Cheezies, and ginger candies, and mint candies always would be in his pocket ready to share with us.

You see, today...I LAUGH!! I laugh at the amazing DEPTHS of contrast that I was gifted within my life. I am crying from the DEPTHS of my heart and soul, cherishing deeply as my Mama cherished me. And sitting in the gift of KNOWING, through all my experiences, exactly what the good that I choose to live now FEELS like. I am so thankful to my Mama for sharing EXACTLY where her thoughts were and how she was feeling. It was so raw and revealed. So open-hearted.

I know....that there are MANY, many people who do not allow themselves to connect into the resonance of the GOOD in their life because "feeling" and "emotion" was vilified and distorted in meaning to the point that to "go there" would be wrong. But where does discernment truly get to show up if rational rules that were taught to us have disconnected us from the "wisdom" we personally gain from going through the thing and experiencing the lessons, gifts, and "signposts" along the way....?

I used to rationalize humanity and "it's" presence. To a point where sometimes it made me seem as though I was very cold and calculated on the outside. Very scientific...very mathematical. But it wasn't until I truly ALLOWED the fullness and wholeness of humanity to hit me (it's a "crazy" story, that's for sure ) that all of who I am and the gift of it (including the crap ) brought me through to seeing, being, "feeling" and experiencing more beyond what I thought I could imagine.

I still apply scientific and mathematical thinking to humanity, but from such a different viewpoint that it often leaves me in awe and wonder. How AMAZING we all are, even when we think that seeing others "small" serves us in any way.

Can you....allow yourself....to SEE into your frustration and look for that true gem of love, compassion.....can you look into your sadness and be okay with loving your family and others so deeply that you could cry from the ecstasy....can we sit with the uneasiness of "closeness" to allow yourself to know that deep "intimate" appreciation for others is not isolated to a few around you....that you can actually CARE and connect with people on a deep soul level that they become a part of you in a way that is often uncomfortable and feels "weird".....

Let's look deep today people...our souls are crying out to be seen today

#thankyouGod #depthofsoul #Lovefirst #thankyouPapaandMama #IAMLove #LIFEtotheFull #ALLofit #BE #WeCan #weARE #oneanotherlove #2020vision #Sawubona

Mothers day 2020

 As this day wraps up and I lay cuddled next to my boys who fell asleep after prayer time, I'm reminded of the moments I "held" my other children in grief as they passed on....I'm reminded of moments where my "childless" self supported friends and peers and heard them say "Thank you mama"...I'm reminded about that being my nickname in High school ...I'm reminded of conversations with my own mother after she took time witnessing me as a parent to our boys...

For me, I came from having decided as a 5 year old child the nurturing energy I would share with others. I learned to hold others in celebration , unconditional love, and presence and still enjoy the gift today.

But what I learned from my mom is to fight to be the woman I want to be when no one else is looking. When you have to choose to still be here standing with your head high when others try to hold you down....that for some women, the journey is not easy, especially if what others see is no comparison to all the wonder, strength, intelligence, and power that lies within. And, that you get the "gift" (or burden) of that knowing and you have to choose in each moment whether or not to show up in it.

I learned from my mom that I am more than one. And through all my children, I get the gift of sharing in more of who I am.

Happy Mother's day to you all in knowing that a mother somewhere has helped to shape you into the being you are today.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere... do you SEE justice?

 This one is for us all ...wanting your "freedom" while other are "denied" theirs in this system means....

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."

....it's been "allowed" for centuries. What mindset will it take to unravel it?

#foodforthought #thisisabigonefolks #standfirm #Lovefirst

Observe being IN this day

 Good morning!

It's sunny outside today For a lot of people I know, this is an extreme mood booster! Why not?!? It feels good to see the brightness stream in and feel the warmth of the sun on your skin

But what if I got real "deep" in saying that....the sun is ALWAYS radiating it's heat and light in our lives. And by and through and with....whatever phrasing you want to put to the "action" of the sun simply by its presence....it influences the clouds that form and are a part of our cloudy days. It influences the amount of moisture that gathers in those clouds and fall on your "rainy" days. It influences the glow we enjoy at night from the moon (It's a FULL MOON today/tonight . It influences our weather and "seasons". It influences even what we call night and day. It is ever-present in our lives.

No matter what we are experiencing from that which is listed, the sun plays a part in it. We get the gifts of going through different states of being, different circumstances, different perspectives, different responses, and different moods all within a 24-hour span. Each and every day is filled with "different", yet there is "something" that remains the same.

Today, the "something" I am focusing in on is my "core being" and my "neutral" head space. I am here! I get to observe being IN this day, no matter what shows up....and I get to participate in it AND even...influence my experience of it.

It's a consistent and constant practice of calibrating that balance for myself. I can't think that we as humans have ever been without balancing ourselves. Would that make it a part of our living process? I see so many strengthened through the embracing of ALL in their lives. Knowing what "good" and "free" and "light" look/feel/move is like and, recognizing it, even when things feel "cloudy" or "extra" or "low" or "dark" and knowing that my "core" is still there. I am ....as long as I am aware of me being in a new day, then my core is present in all weather/seasons/day or night... and even on a sunny day like today

I think we can choose to accept, be with, move through, and even learn from our various states of being and experiences, and keep adapting our way back to balance. Even from super sunny days and great moments, we can find our way back to a peaceful hum and enjoy it

Now to get dressed and ready to be out in the sun

#thankyouGod #Sunnydays #cloudydays #gladwehavetheSun #DivineInfluence #asLongasitsCalledToday #BeEncouraged #divineGifts #YouAre #IAm #WeAre #greaterstill #biggerpicture #partoflife #LifetotheFull