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My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and talents.  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Showing posts with label whole heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label whole heart. Show all posts

Thursday, February 21, 2019

The journey of travelling the terrain



The journey of travelling the terrain






Why is it when we talk about our “journey” in life we think about the journey being along a paved, asphalt road with lines….or a well worn path through a sunny lit forest….



Or when we travel somewhere and plug in the address or destination into the GPS or mapping device, and it maps out the route, that it guides us along marked paths. But I have to wonder, as much as we travel, do we ever really consider the topography of where we are going?



My husband is a trail runner. Mountains are his thing. They always have been calling him. From when we used to snowboard and now when he scales the summits. For me, I love the big sky of the open prairies along with the mountains off in the horizon. But as clear as both of them may seem when you draw them on a page, you definitely miss out on the rise and fall of the elevations and valleys and hills along the way. It’s simple! Mountains go up and prairies are flat, right? And for years my hubby would “scoff” at being able to look off in the distance and nothing would be standing up out of it...until he got on the trails a few years ago and found the dips and twists and winded ways in which he would have to navigate to get through on the other side….all while being in the prairies. And I have often visited both the valleys and dips and “flat” forests as well as the mountain ascents, so for me, I recognized that there was a lot more to experience from both than a generalized stick drawing or a flat road map with no topographical details. I enjoy navigating and I often anticipate that there will be a hill to climb or a valley to go down into to climb out of on the other side.



There has been MUCH beauty that has been revealed as we discovered these gems along the paths we have travelled. As a child, I had a secret garden in the forest that has stuck in my mind ever since...even though it got bulldozed and cleared….for visibility purposes :( alongside a major roadway that invaded the terrain with its intention over 25+ years ago. The flowers and the thickness of the moss from the pine trees, the sun that was able to cut in through the canopy and light up the azaleas in this patch in the forest that was home to a large family of rabbits. We would go and picnic there when we took our dog for a walk. Never did show my mom or dad this space...just me, my sisters, and our dog, Max. I write about this special space in a “flat” prairie not only because it’s gone, but because of its presence in my life still to this day. It lights me up just thinking about this opening of light through a dark forest. We hiked in through a farmers field just behind the houses of our community, and the path passed in through the deciduous trees of birch and aspen….a creek ran alongside the path for a bit and then we would follow the creek off to the left into the forest. We could see the thick pines and the dark dense space ahead, but first we would pass through the trees where there had been a fire….the bark was as charcoal for some and others with new growth but further up toward the canopy. The ground became softer as it got more mossy and less grassy through the trees...we were now among the pines and spruces. Some were toppled over and we would have to climb over and under to get through. It then got a bit closer between the trees and bit darker...we knew we were close….and the way to find it was to look up a bit toward the canopy and look for the light…. Then I had to look down again into the dark and dense trees to sure my footing. As we continued toward the light in the canopy the flowers started….sparsely and then like a “pop”, we were there, in our little magical garden in the forest which looked like no one else had passed through aside from the rabbits who made their home there.



The analogies alone in the “direction” and passage through to this secret space is so metaphorical and still forged in my mind is the “map” to follow to get through to this space I hold dear. It was like a heart space in the midst of all that was around it.



The reason I write this today is because I was looking up a word in Japanese and as I scrolled through the list of words that were similar, I saw a word that was described in English as being “descent, fall, depression and landing”. Almost automatically I went to thinking about the mental health label of “depression”….I thought about the falling of angels…...but then the last word caught me and grounded it all...landing. I was immediately brought to the image of a green terrain with valleys and hills with a flat meadow and plateau...and I was looking out over it all.



We often hear described a plateau as a point in our lives as being “stuck”, and not being able to get to where we want to go more easily. We often hear the association of a “fall” as a loss financially or coming off the “wagon” as we head toward a goal. And depression not as a dip or a valley within the unknown horizon, but as a dark thing that we must run from and change quickly instead of recognize that it is a part of growing and living life, and choosing to journey through it.



I just really feel, that back in the day, when they travelled more by foot, animal, and wagon, and had to consider these things along the way in order to travel to where they were going, that they often didn’t exasperate on whether or not someone was in a mental slump or not seeing the growth they were expecting in their lives and stopped everything in order to clear its pain and anguish. Would they have considered it something that they all experience as a normal thing from time to time? And even though, as shared in the book of Job, when he did experience great loss and calamity, and he was in a low place, his “journey” through his faith took him through some deep considerations, and conversations with and about God that he probably didn’t have before that time, even though he was consistent and wholehearted in his faith before all that “fell” upon him.



How often do we allow the “terrain” of our life to be an aspect of the journey (albeit unknown terrain)? How often do we consider that we will have to descend from heights and walk through depressions, and stand for a moment on landings in the landscape to consider how far we have come and to view out on the potential of what lies ahead?



As our family went for a mountain hike this past summer, I anticipated that much of it would be an ascent...it was a mountain after all, and we have travelled some of the way before. That there would be much climbing and that did not float my boat as much as it did for my hubby. I was recovering from injury and nothing I had to help manage it seemed to be working… it was very difficult for me, both physically and mentally. I was mad at the fact that I couldn’t just “climb” and hike as I was used to remembering...not just being out of practice, but more out of alignment. When we had gotten to the lake at the top, I rested. The boys continued on with their dad around the lake and I chose to stay put as best I could.






We didn’t anticipate the flesh eating flies that were there LOL, in and around this cold mountain lake in the middle of the summer, but why not? Why not expect things to be beyond what we expected the picture to be….it’s mainly unknown terrain anyway. And as we set out to head back down, I was almost elated. The descent for me was much more welcome than the climb, even though the views and beautiful things along the way, in either direction, were so cool to witness and some to capture in pictures. But how can we really capture the moment for others to experience as we did? The river we crossed going up was much nicer to see on the climb than as we came back across it, but who would know from the picture that the light sparkled more through the water and we got to cool off from the water on the way up. Mainly from the sharing of our journey can we light up those details for others. How we responded to the different levels of terrain through our journey can really help others to navigate in a similar way.





SO as we “go” through our days and months and years traversing our “landscape” in life, maybe, just maybe, we can consider and accept the adventure of the unknown terrains….and even though we may prefer one over the other, all are present and all are for us to go through in some way, in order to get to where it is that we have decided we are getting to. There is a bigger picture to our landscape, and in order for the picture to be complete, all pieces are there for our fuller experience and growth. And as we go through and experience for ourselves, remembering that our journey is a great gift to share with others as well. Don’t you think? ;)

Friday, February 27, 2009

All or nothing?



What you give may be what you get.

I have been rolling this over in my mind this morning as I was kicking myself in the butt. Why was I kicking myself? Because I found myself in a situation of having to do something when it could have been done already. Months ago as we finished off projects around our condo before we listed, I was told to not paint the basement....there was so much other things to do. I knew there was lots to do,but the way the basement looked was a HUGE turn off for me being left in such an unfinished state SO close to being done......especially in contrast to the rest of the space. I went through many sleepless nights pondering the things we needed to get done and I decided to get out of bed and head to the basement and paint. I finished off the mudding and sanding in the stairwell and primed and painted the walls and the stairs as I thought about the other things I had to get done in other areas of the house and my life. I couldn't do much else while others were sleeping and in the end, it turned out well. But one thing lingered on my mind...."I really should finish off the walls in the living space as well.....it just needs a little sanding and I could prime and paint it while I have the stuff out. WELL.....I didn't. I didn't give it the couple hours of attention to just finish it off. I know I did something, but I didn't do it all and now I am back at having to finish it anyhow. It's taking more time as it is now a furnished instead of an empty room and I have to shuffle around and move furniture in order to get at the walls.

In all this I thought about applying myself to anything I want to do it life. I shuddered at the fact of doing anything with a half-attempt, not really caring how I do it or not or doing the work grudgingly. Where is the satisfaction in that? If I am going to do anything, I am going to give my all (or whole heart) to it....regardless if it is something I think I won't like. Because I realized, that regardless of liking what I do or not, it the getting it done and done well that I get a KICK out of. Every clean up dog doodoo in the spring time......not fun. However, after cleaning it all up off your lawn,you know that you can enjoy taking care of your lawn and going onto it without worrying about rolling in a dog's leftovers.

I also thought about wanting to get something out of what I put into it. If I am all or nothing, and I put nothing into it, what am I going to get out of it? NOTHING! If I put my half-effort into doing something, how much do I expect to get in return? I should expect half. But if I put my ALL and full effort into doing something, then I can hope to expect a whole lot in return. As I did my workout this morning I gave it my ALL. I didn't finish it all, but for what I did do, I got the most out of it. I did do something as opposed to nothing, but in the SOMETHING I did, I gave it my all! I have muscle awareness all over the place HAHA and it is soooo satisfying. I know that my example of giving my full effort to whatever it is I do, will be seen and hopefully lived out in my children, in my friends and family too. I AM going for ALL as half or nothing doesn't sit well with me. =D



Saturday, February 14, 2009

From the heart - living passionately

Over the last week I have been in a living and learning experience of being loving,passionate,and fruitful. I was very encouraged last weekend by the time I got to share with friends and in being encouraged through scripture to not only use my talents to the full extent as they were given, with our fear or laziness, but to also have a heart fully devoted to loving up on God in the midst of prosperity or trial.

As King Solomon was a man that was granted a discerning heart, wisdom and wealth, he lacked the heart for God that his father David had. Even with having full knowledge and wisdom, he still chose to not love and honour God fully. Since sharing in this lesson, I have realized not only to use my talents fully, but to dig up any talents I may have buried and put them to use as well. Let me not be lazy or lacking in passion and heart for God.

I met with a group on Wednesday and after discussing connecting with God, we were also challenged on what our motive is for wanting to connect with God. What is our "Why" for being a Christian? This week has been encouraging and challenging and at the end of it, I have concluded that in the end, all that matters for me is to glorify God. Why? I am thankful for the life he has given me, I am thankful for the life he has saved me from. He holds me when I am alone, there for me to talk to, comforts me in my pain and struggles, encourages me to grow, and provides for me what I need. A life outside of God is without love, dark, and without comfort. If I long to be loved and wanted, I am going to go where that is at, in God's grace. Out of my overwhelming gratitude and desire, I will be devoted to do what it takes to remain in the grace of God.

I sang love songs and songs of praise to God yesterday and it was a beautiful time of peace, of love, and of encouragement. My boys were smiling and hugging me and it encouraged me to act in a righteous way =D. To love up on my neighbours and strangers, to be patient and nurturing....I was living out my life as I wanted to.... according to the vow I had made. As others are celebrating Valentines day, I will focus on loving passionately my God, my husband, and others that are in my life. I will express genuine interest and concern for them. I will look for ways to meet their needs. I will look for ways to encourage them and their dreams. And I will look for ways to bring glory to God through what I do.

Have a loving, encouraging,and passionate day.


Friday, November 21, 2008

How long

As I reflect today on the health issues I have been experiencing, I am reminded that we are not promised forever in this world. I am truly grateful at how blessed my life has been. I have two beautiful boys, who are not only wonderful to share time, cuddles, and kisses with, but make me smile just at the sight of them. They are compassionate and when they see tears in my eyes, they do their best to comfort me and make me feel better. My prayer for them is that they live their lives appreciating the beauty that God has created and have hearts that desire to love as Jesus loved......wholeheartedly and full of passion.

I am truly grateful to God for gracing my life with someone who would not only challenge me to continue to grow closer to God, but who I would enjoy spending my life with. I truly love my husband as he is my best friend and has inspired me to live my life to the full in ways he could have never imagined. My hope and prayer for him is that he remain a nurturing, loving, serving, and compassionate man. That he keep his vow to God, and in honour of what we share, strive to grow closer to God each and every day of his life with his whole heart. That he will encourage our boys to grow to become wholehearted and loving men of God.

My life is full of joy, opportunities, appreciation, gratitude, and love. More than I could have dreamed and there is the potential for more to come. Thank you God!