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My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and talents.  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

my "lows" one day amplify my gratitude the next. my "fears" have lead me to grow as well as "know"

 Good morning! This morning I got to witness one of my deepest fears...it surprised me. And where I am at now, I am amazed and grateful to myself for having experienced the fear AND experiencing its relief of concern. It also made me realize that sometimes, just like annoying family members that "keep" an overactive watchful eye out for you (yeah, I said it), that your "fearful" or "critical " thoughts or voices could just be you wanting to make sure of the best for you. It took some time in silence (plus a perspective I learned from an NVC training) to really "hear" what was behind "those" thoughts...LOL and what I "witnessed " was...a loving concern.

So today, that big "fear" I had (have)? It's that...I would fail! Fail to recognize when the gifts, blessings, opportunities, and answered prayers were showing up in my life AND that I would NEGLECT to celebrate its arrival. Fail to see and fail to celebrate. YUP!!! It's a HUGE one! And today, I witnessed an "arrival" and I got a rush go over me...popped my eyes wide open! And immediately I was excited and stayed "cool and calm" at the same time....LOL it was like winning the lotto 😉 (which I did yesterday. ..woohoo! Free play! 😉 ) . And it was after that moment of quietly celebrating and acting in the moment. ..building its momentum that another wave washed over me....a sigh of relief from my "fear". I didn't waste the moment. ..hurray!
I am not going to plug in a "to do" thought here...I'm not going to say that you should do as I have done...no "shoulds" here. I am just sharing that in my current experience, my "lows" one day amplify my gratitude the next. That my "fears" have lead me to grow as well as "know"...that fullness of my experiences allow me to better "see" those around me and connect authentically...and that, after many years of wanting to "spare" others the grief and pains I have gone through, I can see that that may also deny you the fullness of your celebration.
So, much love to you all, exactly where you are at...and that you may enjoy an amazing day of being you ❤

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