Contentment - Good morning post, Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Contentment!  

Good morning!

It wasn't until I died and came back that I realized in what ways I wasn't truly living.

Currently I am in STILL growing in living my life fully within my physical experience. Each day it has felt that I have achieved 1% better than the day before. Well, it's coming on 15 years of 1% better steps into sinking into the FULLNESS that is my life.

I have definitely felt stalled in the process along the way. Almost 4 years into this "Second chance" journey, I went through an experience that rocked me to say the least, and left me disconnected from my experience here on earth. I struggled with wanting to depart or just wanting to stay in my spiritual head space as my body began to suffer.

And what I have learned most and am I still in the practice of (one day I will fully "feel" into it), is to have contentment, FULL contentment with where and how I am now AS I imagine and dream for what's to come.

CONTENTMENT! To look around within my life and actually WANT and appreciate what it is that I have now ...without begrudging or wishing things away. Recognizing the temporary nature of any circumstance and staying present and centered IN my experience while seeing how my present contributes to the future that I imagine.

Yes, there are some things I would like to change. And as I am in the process of changing those things, I get the gift of recognizing that they are indeed changing....and so am I. I get to be refined into the person I will need to be in order to fully enjoy the unfolding and the result of my dreams coming to reality.

Imagine, if you were to remain miserable and unsatisfied by anything AND the thing that you have desired has now become a part of your life. Well, now you are miserable and unsatisfied with most everything and your joy now rests outside of you in a thing that is also temporary.

There is so much that is unknown about the future (all of it really), but there is one thing that I know now in this moment, I want to enjoy what it is I have, FULLY! So that when "next" comes along I will also enjoy "that" fully as well. The thing I feel certain of is that I will be a joy-filled and appreciative person in my journey, even when some things feel sucky, I can see it as temporary and find contentment in that.

So for today, I am here, I am joy-loving, I am contented.

#thankyouGod #everydayallday #INjoy #contentment #phil4four #philfour11 #focusonwhatICANdoandenjoy

9/11/99 ....a date of great significance for me in my life.

 Good morning!

9/11/99 ....a date of great significance for me in my life.

It was a day that changed my life forever. I shifted in my awareness of judgment, I started remembering moments more in observation mode, and even this week, I saw some of that day played out in an interaction with one of our sons...

It was the day I walked up to a young guy in baggy pants at work and started in with one of the most awkward introduction I have ever had Yup, that was the day that Jeremy walked into my life. Just over a year later we were dating.

So thank you Jeremy S Cowan for responding to my questions with questions and even entertaining the interaction to begin with. I really appreciate what you have meant to me in our lives together

#thankyouGod #divineunion #greaterstill #expecttheunexpected #compassion #Lovefirst

I AM HOME within me. Create for ourselves that "rainbow" and safe space within

 Good morning!

This morning a beautiful image and concept settled in on me...chasing rainbows.

This time of year for me is one of my favourites. I didn't love going back to school, I wasn't particularly focused if summer holidays (from having to go to school) ended....for me what I enjoyed the most was the coming of the cold and dark.

YUP! I love the rolling fogs and the bitter cold that gnawed at my back and the increase of darkness in the day. For me it was reflective and calm. And also, to tell the truth, it held an "air" of melancholy for me I felt familiar with. Like the daughter of the family that moved into the house in the movie "Beetlejuice".

I honestly don't go a week without being amazed at who I am now with such lightness and celebration. But for me, and many people I know, that dark "hallway" is a necessary passage to getting through to the other side of recognizing who you "really" are and want to be.

AND... I remember searching either in our house or in the playground for that sunny spot to lay down in, spread out with my eyes closed and facing up to the sunny with the heat and rays beaming through my lids and filling me with its radiance as I watched the pulse of my own blood flow in the orange screen I was being present with.

I love both. And, like chasing rainbows, I ran to find where it was in order to "catch" and bring it with me. I chased a sunny day or a sunny spot eager to bask in the rays....I waited ALL YEAR LONG for the coming of ONE season in order to feel the comfort of my "reclusiveness" once again.

And both made me sad and filled me with sorrow when they didn't stay. When the clouds and the wind would "take away" the sun and when the melting in Spring gave me such recoil and a feeling of disgust. They were "taking" away from me what I enjoy and love the most.

And now...? What is so different now? It was the chasing that feels as though it was causing me grief. Why couldn't it just stay? Well, because I wasn't realizing that it was how I CHOSE to feel in those moments that brought me joy and filled me up inside. When my very existence was at risk, that's when I realized that it is from WITHIN that I can radiate...it is from within I experience calm. I could carry it with me ANYWHERE! And in actuality, I AM carrying it with me everywhere I go.

I keep "trying" to manage my space to reflect this "inner" hallway and grassy field, and yet, no matter where I am, I can have these things that call me "home" on demand. I AM HOME within me "I" can carry that feeling with me and create that space around me no matter where I go.

So let's not look outward and blame our circumstances, or the people we encounter for "limiting" us from a fuller experience. We CAN definitely influence a different outcome if we at first create for ourselves that "rainbow" and safe space within

#thankyouGod #divineunion #Lovefirst #safespaces #BEyou #fully #lifeLivedFully #embraceyourWholeness #mastery #mindsetmatters #Godwithin #weareRadiant

Ready to honour the "Divine" within me and you.

 

Good morning!

Confidence....it's attractive, intimidating, questionable, mysterious...it draws people in with intrigue and motivates others to keep their distance. Why? So much hype around walking with your head up and your eyes forward.

When did it become an issue when someone is okay with being in their own skin and getting done in their life what they want/need to get done?

I have talked with many people...Many who have expressed being judged for expressing themselves and then have fallen into insecure tendencies. How often are people's insecurities grounded in having been made to feel small?

There is a word that I learned from author Kevin Hall, and that word is Genshai. The meaning is not to make anyone feel small (including yourself).

There is another word that the boys and I learned this year, tzedakah, that describes honouring one another with the dignity and respect that their Divine image deserves.

I don't feel that I walk around with confidence. I walk around with the frame of mind that is READY to honour those around me in their choices and journey they are living. I remind myself daily to also honour the "Divine" within me and to not speak to myself in a way to make myself feel small. Most days that works. There are times I catch myself in judgment, mainly to myself...and then I check myself. It happens..I am human as well

If we allow ourselves the space to SEE OURSELVES as honourable, and dignified...and know that we are not alone in being seen that way, then we can lift our heads higher and see more of what lies in store for us.

Let's try and walk and speak without making anyone else feel "small" today. When we help others to keep their heads up, we raise our sights as well

#thankyouGod #oneanotherlove #Genshai #expectgrowth #wecanALLchange #forthebetter #HigherVibes #Lovefirst #choosetoLove