Cognitive dissonance. Don't let programming silence good feedback

 

Did you know...?

That many of these strongly held beliefs are unconscious and programmed in at an earlier age? And that many are also unaware of expressing them in most incidences?

I experience this with many people. Most people would not describe these people to be defensive or rude, but if I experience it with them, then I MUST have done something to provoke it. Does that sound familiar?

Because of this inflated response, I developed a coping strategy that had me say next to nothing in social settings unless I felt welcome, accepted, respected, and valued for what I MAY say. Otherwise, I didn't bother talking. Or at least that's the coping part.

That "shut down" of my voice in particular groups is most often overridden by my compulsion to say what needs to be said in a moment.

I remember one "incident" as a child, while I was breathing my breath onto a tree and another child ask me what I am doing. I shared that trees breath in carbon dioxide and we breath out carbon dioxide. They screamed at me in my face and said that I was a liar and they were going to tell their mom.

Even more recently, I experienced "backlash" from my voice coming out of "me" more than my words....later to find out that in my adult life and experience that I am not alone.

I will tell you honestly, when I intend to "poke the bear", I will almost always let you know. And that is usually because we are in a coaching or teaching relationship.

So this is my plea to you, one another relationships with people who are not like you and who don't necessarily act like you can provide you with feedback on what it is that you are expressing.

My current circle is mainly family, small children, seniors, neighbours, and other coaches, trainers, and teachers of some sort. They often describe me as calming (which still surprises me from time to time). And well, maybe my boys may hear more authority in my tone from time to time Our conversations cover almost every topic.

Anyways, just putting this out there...consider if you feel thrown off or highly agitated in otherwise simple topics and see if there is a way that you can consider even just your response without having to accept what is being presented to you.