Good morning!
The "trend" in my newsfeed....parenting. "How to..." or "How it is hard...", And "milestones" ...LOTS of milestones....
I just wanted to say, I am there with you. AND I used to get a lot of "How do you do it? Your boys are so happy and friendly, and kind...." How did I do what? LOL I guess I did have a little secret....do you want to know what it is? 
I remind them of who they are...at the CORE of their being and character. This WHOLE time...from when they were babies to now as teens, (go by hormones people, numbers will mess you up 
) I remind them that they chose this life to live and I am here to help them stay aligned in their journey. The "discipline" has changed, but I always come back to reminding them of their strength...and their intelligence...and their power in choice....and their impact on those around them....and I jump in the pit with them...I share what is relatable from my story...I jumped up and down when they would throw tantrums....I cried remembering how I was bullied and segregated....
I remind them of who they are...at the CORE of their being and character. This WHOLE time...from when they were babies to now as teens, (go by hormones people, numbers will mess you up ) I remind them that they chose this life to live and I am here to help them stay aligned in their journey. The "discipline" has changed, but I always come back to reminding them of their strength...and their intelligence...and their power in choice....and their impact on those around them....and I jump in the pit with them...I share what is relatable from my story...I jumped up and down when they would throw tantrums....I cried remembering how I was bullied and segregated....Not only are they not alone in their struggles, but my "little girl self", after years of loneliness and struggle, is no longer alone. She has friends that can relate. They ask for "her" and ask "her" what it was like for her when she was their age. The other day, as we were cleaning, my oldest found a picture of her. The day after that, I found my pics with the youngest one of when I was his age. They already heard many of the stories (MANY) and now they have a face to put to those stories.
It's THOSE stories....where we felt or have put "shame" or insecurity into....those are your tools of connection....that's how we can build someone up...by sharing compassion for ourselves in those moments and then turning to extend that same compassion to those who are relating to it. As a parent, I stand with very little to no shame because I have used my "toolbox" in life to help build up those around me.
Yesterday, as my son felt like he was going to blow up with frustration...I shared a more direct story...about why I chose his middle name....I shared the situation I witnessed of a mother with her son...how she "blanketed" him with love...how she passed on this advice and wisdom of expression to me...and how the boy was at the same age that he is at now... and I knew, if the child in my belly at the time was to be a boy, this would be his middle name...I also shared the story about the man that that boy had become....and he cried. I held his face and I said "I see you". And we hugged. I dropped all defense....he was not my enemy... and I defaulted to reminding him.
Anyways, yeah parenting....it's a beautiful thing. Yeah, people-ing ...it's a beautiful thing. We could all use some reminding don't you think?
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