Sunday, October 25, 2009

Question of the day: Why am I afraid sometimes?

I am going after my fears, not only to get rid of what is hindering me in certain areas of my life, but to fully understand why I choose to be fearful.

This morning as I was talking to my son who was afraid his brother was going to do something that has not even been done yet (or was even going to be attempted....oh well) and I realized that sometimes we choose to be fearful based on our anticipation of something negative happening. Now, it hasn't happened, so in reality we are only responding to our imagination, the scenario we have created in our minds. We are fearful of what we have come up with in our minds...hmmmm...is it real? Real enough to develop into a very real response from our bodies. But is it based on truth and an actual experience? Perhaps not. Maybe we are responding based on a previous incident (very possible), but in the end, why not let the situation unfold and respond accordingly to what HAS happened. Are we afraid of how we would respond if we were in a situation? Afraid of how others are going to respond? Can we control how others will respond (maybe by our response)? Is our mind trying to prepare for that outcome? I would think that if I created a scenario in my mind (which I do a LOT), that I would like to manipulate that scenario to not only be how I would like it to turn out (since it is MY imagination), but that also provides for me options of how to respond in a way that is positive, encouraging, and helps me to grow and learn. And the best part is, in the process of gauging how I would like to respond, I can then prepare myself to be ready to experience such a situation in the future, if it is to happen or not.

So what have I pulled out of this ponder session?

I should ask myself....

Is my fear based on what is really happening to me at the moment or is it based on my imagination? If it is based on my imagination, am I developing a fearful, physical response beforehand based on an anticipated, negative reaction, or am I playing out the possibilities based on experience to respond in a more desired and positive way?

How can I make the scenario in my head work for me? In preparing my response to be a fruitful and positive one and visualizing the scenario to be different and more to how I would want it to be(whether or not it actually happens).

How can I be more equipped in a situation that I have an anticipated fearful response to now? I can be prepared and informed. If it is a performance-based action that I am fearful of, what actions can I take to be better prepared and have the scenario result in an encouraging and successful experience. Am I fearful due to a lack of knowledge and experience? Then do the research and seek the advice from those that are successful in an area that I am unsure of.

Have faith! Some things are unknown and uncertain when it comes to outcome, but if we allow the situation to unfold and see what wonderful things can come from experience, we can grow and respond according to the actual circumstance. I know that from my experiences with being fearful, a lot of my actions leading up to a scenario are affected and I may walk a road of negativity before I even reach the situation, if ever at all. It built up in me a lack of being content and enjoying the moment, fostering feelings of dislike, distrust, and a critical heart when put in a situation that "may" call on me being put into the situation I was fearfully anticipating. Most of the time, the situation never happened as I feared. And now that I am trying to respond more in the moment, I feel a whole lot lighter and less "imposed" on by my fearful thoughts. I have stopped attacking myself and allowed myself to enjoy living and being a part of life more fully.

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