The power of the side by side conversation...

 Good mawning!

The power of the side by side conversation...

I did let the content of the conversation fade... After I picked him up (later than HE expected me to, on time for what I said I would ), we enjoyed a deep, heartfelt conversation.

I should have taken notes.

I think I say that almost every time we have a one on one conversation together. It always feels like the sun-bathed pictures, but with me at his feet....basking in his perspective.

This time I can honestly say, I don't recall what he said, but for SURE I know what it was that I felt. I felt a sense of peace, feeling that he will be alright.

Honestly, I don't always have that feeling. With the joyful ups and downs of being a teen and especially from his experience, there are times that swing a little too far for my own comfort as a mother. But after our little chat, with a bit of my humour and humility tossed in (I do remember that I mocked someone for being overdressed for the weather and not even a minute later a blizzard blows in LOL... and only in that park space too . Weirdest thing!), I knew he would continue to grow wise. He will apply mindfully what he learns and ponders.

It made me realize as well how many conversations that I have where it's not a side by side sharing. It's not in appreciation or with the heart of gleaning, but from the "seat" of schooling the other.

And then it draws me back to the moments where the "mind chatter" used to talk OVER me. How do you "talk" or speak with yourself? What is that internal relationship and ongoing conversation sounding like? Do you celebrate and glean from your insights and thoughts? Or are you putting off the "good" thoughts in your head with dismissal, doubt and a dominating "overwriter"?

Perhaps we could have more side by side conversations WITH ourselves as we grow on this journey and let that trickle over into our physical, one-on-one conversations with others.

This week I plan to take notes

#thankyouGod #oneanotherlove #Lovefirst #celebrate #gleanthegood #WeAre #divinegifts #Sawubona #divinerelationships #radiance #insight #listen #impact #raisingmen

Going beyond the bullying

 Good morning!

One day is not enough!

We don't wear the pink.

And the problem goes further than just calling people "bullies".

SO what about today? He pulled out his journal at the beginning of the week to help him to express and work through some strong emotions and feelings. He was so filled with hope and change that he had to get down his observations and decisions. He shared it with me. The wins from a great weekend and his revelations...the vision he has for himself going forward...knowing he is lovingly supported, he shared (5th pillared) his intentions and we set to work on direction towards his realized vision.

Put the banner down, the virtuous symbols, the heightened angst, and listen.

...As I went through my camera roll, I was both grateful and horrified. Horrified is a strong word. Riddled with regret? Having been a part of this "thing" that was happening and had him "tough it out" for YEARS? Heartbroken??

At what point do you stop the constant attacks? How many times do you say "No!", "That's not nice!", "Stop it!" And have someone listen and change? How many talks do you have to have with the "grown ups" that the children are not playing nice? What happens when the adults are not playing nice? What happens when adults are scoffing and yelling at your child with disgust? What happens when the "bully" starts blaming your child for everything that they are doing, with you as a witness, and the adults don't believe you? What happens when the parents allow their child to shout profanities at your child for many other parents to hear, and you address it and now your child was the problem....

That was the point. I called in professional help. Local counselling services to support our son.

I was on all the field trips. I was ASK to be because I handled well (trained and educated with police clearance, etc. ) to be around children and handle problem behaviours. I was very good at encouraging those who were picking on other children to pay attention. This continued for years. I figured since I had to "tough it out" for so many years in school, that he might be able to be...but it was more. And it was constant, and it was everywhere. Living a life of being "celebrated" as a novelty for how you are unique and being blasted for your "different hair" and how you are not "black" or "white" enough, or "this and that" enough... No real amount of time to just be at "peace" with being yourself...

You see the first picture was the breaking point. He left many selfies on my phone. This one called me into action. I contacted my mentor,

Carrie Campbell

, to help me in providing support and getting my child back after YEARS of constant discrimination, harassment, ill-treatment, ostracization... the counselling didn't compare to the mindset work and training I was receiving from my mentor and he wanted HER help! Not to poo-poo on the counselling. They gave his current state a diagnosis and brought him through trying to recall moments, etc. But as I have learned, trauma changes things in the brain. We also create filters to helps us to survive. Much of what he now had as a story were not the same as the how we documented them and experienced and reported. Perception was skewed...

He started the 4 pillar work. Journalling, counting wins, learning his language, and imagining a different outcome. We changed environment so he could have the space to "be". So much came out. So many learned coping strategies that were not serving him had to be shifted so he could move forward.

This work would benefit both sides of the coin. For those who hold devaluing viewpoints of others and themselves.... for those who are under constant, non-serving influences in their life. And then for those who have been changed from being happy, and playful to guarded and wounded from the non-serving behaviours they encounter in others. The journey starts way before the aggressions we see. It starts in the home. It's influenced in the workplace. It is spread throughout our society. We need to start practicing nurturing our human care as well as our own mastery in a way that serves us and benefits others.

We have tools that work and work well. But not everyone does. It's simple, it's sustainable and it works for those who apply it. No more "bullies". They need help and support too. We all have a "bully" somewhere in our lives, and often within our own heads. It's time to change from adversary to support.

#thankyouGod #simpleandsustainable #nomorebullies #weareallhuman #Lovefirst #4Pillars #EYL #mindsetmatters #createthenew #letshealtogether #Ubuntu #Sawubona

Returning to Wholeness

 Good morning!

Wholeness is on my mind this morning. It's actually been my journey this past week. Being honest with myself, looking back down my life's path, and gathering up all the fragments that were "broken" off and putting them back with the rest of "me".

On a global scale, it's about FINALLY ripping of the layers of bandages and stacked up bandaid on top of bandaid that were intended to "fix" systems that were created, instead of going back to the wound or problem and seeing if the applied "solution" actually served to heal the "problem" in the first place.

It was no longer about serving beneficially as much as it became about applying another "fix" to something that wasn't a sustainable solution in the first place.

"Oh no! The stickiness of the bandage is fading! Quick! Apply another!"

It's all being ripped bare right now and we get to honestly look at what needs healing, what has already been fixed, and what didn't need messing with in the first place.

Now, journeying back to our individual experiences....For me, it's been about claiming back my energy by forgiveness of doubt, betrayal, and mockery (as well as allowing myself to become "disempowered"). Releasing the charge back to others, and stepping back into the innocence of the gifts I was giving...back into the creation that was coming through me, and back into the heart that was willing to serve others freely with my God-given talents and skills.

And my next step....to share more fully about MY journey with immunity. From deficiency, suppressed, and compromised, into overactive responses with allergies and hypersensitivities....as well as multiple autoimmunity challenges....and how I navigate being in improved health day in and day out through and with it all.

Much love to you all as we ALL go on this journey of returning to wholeness (We ARE a part of the awe and wonder and nature...) Have a great and health filled day

#ThankyouGod #gratitude #Divinegifts #INjoy #weAREmore #wholeness #healing #health #salud #cleanereating #oneanotherlove

An agreement of common interest...choose how you want to connect and be supported

 Good morning!

So many things I want to touch on today....like Who/What is answering our "How" questions (and how LOL ...)....

...but the main one for me is around the structures that we have all collectively chosen to participate in. Why do we have schools? why do we have clubs? Why do we have communities and tribes? Why do we have borders and countries? Why do we have overarching associations and agencies for our healthcare? Why do we have jobs and workplaces? Why do we have churches, temples, and mosques? Why do we have types of society and culture? Why do we have all these social media sites and what good are they for?

I see people posting about these ALL the time. I hear people share their concerns and experiences and wash an entire genre or system with their opinion or bad experience and rally many to join in their opposition without regard for what other individuals may experience. I see and hear the conclusive and "absolute" statements that are to be held as fact and substantial evidence, when in fact, there must be something more that we can all experience within these structures if they work for some of the people that experience within, around, and through them.

What do you see that all these things have?

Well, I don't know what you may see, but I will use my "filter" (of looking for the good that serves) and share what it is that I see....

Common ground. These structures came about because there was an agreement of common interest.

Now to take it step further....perhaps we can then choose what we would WANT to connect in with. Some of which we didn't choose honestly....it was chosen for us, based on where and what we were born into, but at some point, we recognize that we DO have a choice in how it can serve us or how we can find something that serves us better.

Even one more step "up" on the ladder (going for a higher, more broader viewpoint here ) ....what if we saw these as supports to allow us the opportunity to chose and grow when we get to that point of choice. Why not have these things serve as stepping stones, gateways, portals into our next level of living and then branch out to a choice that better serves us? And for those moments in time when we get off track or feel out of sorts, we could look back to these systems to help remind us or even support us along the way.

For example, I hated school (and LOVED learning). My experience in school early on was riddled with racism and racial slurs and language on a constant basis... and being pushed, shoved, ganged up on, and harassed for the bulk of my elementary experience (with the exception of a FEW friends, who are even connected with me today here on Facebook). Which then changed as I moved up in the system...less and less harassment and more and more opportunities for learning. I'm super grateful for the support of the "system" to allow for the environment of being in the common ground of an expectation of learning (LOL I put that expectation in and of the environment, and that's what I chose to get from it...most of the time )

Same goes for my spiritual journey....in the beginning it was a mess of situations that caused my family to chose to never go back to the same church, but they gave me the choice to go if I wanted to....and I did. Thankfully, as I navigated my choice and the type of spiritual alignment I would have, I was able to find support in my journey through being guided to the "family" I am with today. Granted, my spiritual journey still stands out as unique and I know what I have, AND I also make the most of being connected in with some like-minded individuals as well through the structure I am a part of.

So what's my point? We have choice. We choose how we want to connect and be supported...and when we feel that is not happening, we can look around and recognize there actually are deeper levels we can experience through, if we are willing to look and see.

#thankyouGod #Sawubona #itsinwhatweMakeofit #youhaveotheroptions #WeAre #fullysupported #FreeWill #thatweMAYchoose #oneanotherlove