These feet were made for walking. Joy is in each step of my journey

 Walking...

It had become a chore.

I started driving on my own only 8 years ago. It helped to give me the time and space I needed in my head and schedule to get things done. Before that, I bussed and walked everywhere.

Can you believe that I had trauma from taking the bus??? (Enter Rosa Parks... ) I could not believe how many times I was being "made" to run for blocks before the bus driver would stop and let me on. Pounding on the doors, watching them laugh as they drove off... I sprinted between stops, got there ahead of them only for them to keep driving.

DANG!! I was SO DONE with that crap!!

Can you imagine, doing that WITH a baby stroller, downtown...? YES! Either on my own or with the kids in tow.

Driving gave me the "mental" peace of travelling more on our terms.

SIGH! I can feel the peace in that transition even now <3

...

But for years, I had prided myself on "footing" it everywhere. I made great time...on time (that's why I ran making those connections)... and I loved that I was ABLE to walk.

Yes! ABLE! I had not only plantar fasciitis, but some severe tearing in my feet from inappropriate work footwear. I was slated for a surgery that was only 50% guaranteed to work or render me unable to walk.

I wanted to be able to go long distances on my own feet. I wanted to be able to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time.

I DID find the solution that saved me from both surgery and from a life of immobility.

I walked to places that I should have bussed to (because I could, and I was done with the bus-riding drama 🤣🤣🤣).

I took my time and enjoyed the sights and sounds....WITH my little ones in tow. That's right. This was after having both our boys and while towing them around in a stroller.

I didn't have to use the stroller like a walker anymore.

But with all that backstory, it was not until just the other day where I felt that renewed freedom again to just WALK with my own 2 feet.

To enjoy the sights and sounds with my boys in tow ;) .

I am SO EXCITED to be looking FORWARD to being out and about by foot again.

Last year, I made it a priority to get out walking as a family.

The years before, we were out trail running all over the place...most often grudgingly...but glad to have done it.

BUT THIS YEAR!?!? It's our CHOICE to fully enjoy being out and exploring like we used to...to connect in with each other, OURSELVES, and of course with nature too.

What have you come full circle into choosing to enjoy for yourself? Or what would you like to bring more joy to?

#thankyouGod #ableandready #gratitude #divinedesign #onestepatatime #beingactive #healthyhabits #celebrate #LoveFirst #betterandbetter #simpleandconsistent #choosewhatyoulove #loveyourchoice

What does the process of considering death do for changing your life.

What does the process of considering death do for changing your life.

This is me, one on the other side of death. We call it “this” side, although I have had many close calls after.

After nearly losing all my blood and hearing a flat line buzz, and watching my hubby and my body from a different angle, I knew there was more to what I was seeing. Before that moment was a series of events that led to a prayer surrendered in a possibility only God could provide...being “here” to watch my boys grow into amazing men. It was a bold prayer to pray when you are strapped down to a table as though on a cross and still gushing…

But my main focus is, in that moment, as I considered my death and having been surrendered into its’ possibility, I also jogged through what the possibility of 'life renewed' would be. I saw all the joy and laughter. Sunshine smiles and moments, and late night cuddles and kisses. I saw men excited to be achieving milestones in life. I saw gratitude overflowing. I saw freely expressed emotions and the mastery of self celebrated. I saw fulfillment. I saw sharing growth and vitality. I saw being free to express and move and travel and connect. 

And I was excited for them both. I still sit here “okay” with possibilities unfolding with wonder. I always seem to start with the joyful and loving possibility. 

It was my “second chance” when I woke up IN my body and saw I was enveloped in warm “bubble wrap” with machines beeping and going off and people hustling about. I was grateful for being moved from a shared and super fragrant room into a private room...my post op experience was terrible, but I was here. I was so glad to be out of that place, and glad to be in this moment at the same time. I was in such pain and filled with tears of gratitude to be in the moment and future I prayed for. And every morning when I woke, I would gasp and suck in that air with such panic and elated gratitude at the same time, saying “Thank you Lord!” No matter how it came, the experiences I had, good or bad, I would embrace them as a part of the bigger vision, of “getting” the gift of PRESENCE in the life of my two boys. 

So now, as I sit here in contemplation of near-future moments, I am reminded of the prayer I prayed, and the vision I had and how small all this seems in comparison of the unfolding of beautiful possibilities being laid out, and for us to all grow into our next level, our “second chance.”

What is the dream and vision you hold onto, on the other side of the possibility of death? It sounds morbid, but in reality, we are faced with our choice in living and existing each day. HOW will I choose to live out this new day I am graced to wake up in?

One breath at a time. One moment at a time. Mine for today is a date...with the One who was there when my arms and feet were stretched out in a vacant room. All alone, in the moments before I went under. That Presence that still is with me now. It’s our time this morning. No major gasping for air, just deep and conscious breaths of gratitude. And then from there, I get to sit in enjoyment and dream. Imagining my next "sunny" moments of possibility and laying them before God...in conversation and in prayer. And then living out each moment as it follows. Each imperfect, painful and elated, disappointing and stretched in growth, each lovely moment that we "get" to call our Life and Journey.

How will you imagine your "second chance"?

An agreement of common interest...choose how you want to connect and be supported

 Good morning!

So many things I want to touch on today....like Who/What is answering our "How" questions (and how LOL ...)....

...but the main one for me is around the structures that we have all collectively chosen to participate in. Why do we have schools? why do we have clubs? Why do we have communities and tribes? Why do we have borders and countries? Why do we have overarching associations and agencies for our healthcare? Why do we have jobs and workplaces? Why do we have churches, temples, and mosques? Why do we have types of society and culture? Why do we have all these social media sites and what good are they for?

I see people posting about these ALL the time. I hear people share their concerns and experiences and wash an entire genre or system with their opinion or bad experience and rally many to join in their opposition without regard for what other individuals may experience. I see and hear the conclusive and "absolute" statements that are to be held as fact and substantial evidence, when in fact, there must be something more that we can all experience within these structures if they work for some of the people that experience within, around, and through them.

What do you see that all these things have?

Well, I don't know what you may see, but I will use my "filter" (of looking for the good that serves) and share what it is that I see....

Common ground. These structures came about because there was an agreement of common interest.

Now to take it step further....perhaps we can then choose what we would WANT to connect in with. Some of which we didn't choose honestly....it was chosen for us, based on where and what we were born into, but at some point, we recognize that we DO have a choice in how it can serve us or how we can find something that serves us better.

Even one more step "up" on the ladder (going for a higher, more broader viewpoint here ) ....what if we saw these as supports to allow us the opportunity to chose and grow when we get to that point of choice. Why not have these things serve as stepping stones, gateways, portals into our next level of living and then branch out to a choice that better serves us? And for those moments in time when we get off track or feel out of sorts, we could look back to these systems to help remind us or even support us along the way.

For example, I hated school (and LOVED learning). My experience in school early on was riddled with racism and racial slurs and language on a constant basis... and being pushed, shoved, ganged up on, and harassed for the bulk of my elementary experience (with the exception of a FEW friends, who are even connected with me today here on Facebook). Which then changed as I moved up in the system...less and less harassment and more and more opportunities for learning. I'm super grateful for the support of the "system" to allow for the environment of being in the common ground of an expectation of learning (LOL I put that expectation in and of the environment, and that's what I chose to get from it...most of the time )

Same goes for my spiritual journey....in the beginning it was a mess of situations that caused my family to chose to never go back to the same church, but they gave me the choice to go if I wanted to....and I did. Thankfully, as I navigated my choice and the type of spiritual alignment I would have, I was able to find support in my journey through being guided to the "family" I am with today. Granted, my spiritual journey still stands out as unique and I know what I have, AND I also make the most of being connected in with some like-minded individuals as well through the structure I am a part of.

So what's my point? We have choice. We choose how we want to connect and be supported...and when we feel that is not happening, we can look around and recognize there actually are deeper levels we can experience through, if we are willing to look and see.

#thankyouGod #Sawubona #itsinwhatweMakeofit #youhaveotheroptions #WeAre #fullysupported #FreeWill #thatweMAYchoose #oneanotherlove

I'm connecting, I'm connecting...

From the movie "Night at the Museum 3"

Over the past 24 hours, I have shared in many conversations. It was a great day of connecting more deeply with those around me.  I didn't plan it that way, but it worked out beautifully.  I even enjoyed a more structured quiet time in the morning as well. All these things used to be regular and consistent in my life...along with writing in my journal, sharing blog posts, decluttering, cleaning, laundry, working out...all constant...all routinely attended to...and with a change over the past few years it went a bit off. My focus, my routine shaken, and I didn't hold as firm to what I had established in my life. And now that my routine gas changed again, I find myself longing to bring back anew in my life these helpful habits I once enjoyed. It not that laundry changed or the need to declutter, it was I who changed. From feeling things were manageable to feeling completely overwhelmed. Even the thought of the thought of the overwhelm still grips me, so I know I still have a way to go in recognizing I am not in that same space.

And in order to support that change, I feel compelled to return to basics...my core relationship with myself and God. I just rest in that presence...and then I open up and share...and then go quiet again....and then share some more...it's a conversation. And not until recently did I realize that this practice of introspection, connection, and relationship takes a lot (a LOT) of courage for people to choose and experience.  How can you build your heart (your core, your courage...), if you are constantly denying it?  How can you build up your connection if you refuse to acknowledge it is already there?

This is my Facebook post in response to this thought...


Good morning! I'm logging into a device that was JUST connected. The funny thing is I am sharing from another device that chooses to stay more consistently connected while this other device flips and flops between disconnected and connected. From the evidence of the other device being connected and functioning well in its navigation through the internet, I know there is a working source of WIFI that is open, flowing, and available.

We are always available to the choice of being consistently connected...to our good health and fitness, to our loving relationships, to our fulfillling spirituality and well-being, to our happiness, and even to our abundance (which is in all the above mentioned aspects of life...and more). AND we can ALSO choose that these same things are also our greatest burdens...our health, relationships, spirituality, and pursuit of happiness. It is as simple as choice...to be grateful and eager to enjoy or to be focused on anything but gratitude and thoroughly steeped (and nurtured) in "problems" and trying to fix the unbroken and constant.
If you are reading this, then there is nothing wrong with my Internet source...working on improving my connections (in all areas) will be focus today though. Mindset matters...your perspective is your golden ticket.

‪#‎thankyouGod‬ ‪#‎biggerthanwe‬ ‪#‎Oneconnection‬ ‪#‎seekfirst‬ ‪#‎goBeyondproblem‬ ‪#‎attitudeofGratitude‬ ‪#‎mindsetmatters‬

Situational circumstances - It's how we respond and choose in the moment

Last week while in a study group I said something that still comes to mind in pondering... "sin is circumstantial". Now this doesn't mean that all circumstances are sin, but in the circumstances that we experience in life, it can ultimately come down to how we choose to exercise our great gift of choice (a.k.a. free will, agency...).  What will we choose? How will we choose it? Did we stop to think that we had a choice in the matter? Did we think about how to protect our own survival? Did we consider how our ultimate choice would impacts others? (...and yes, there will ALWAYS be others to consider...even in good and great choices) And, Did I consider God when I was making this choice?...

So, since making this statement and having this thought (because what is a statement without the "experience" to back it up?), I have... let my "circumstances" get the better of me...not handled myself in the best way that I would have/could have...I think I had something that looked like a tantrum....stumbled over myself and following consequential choices...saw others experiencing the same thing...saw how it brought covered up "garbage" from my past to light...helped me to deal with said "garbage" and take it to the curb...saw how, in spite of my grumpy-stinky-argh-I-am-a-pirate attitude, that my choice of encouraging, helping and serving others was not set aside...how I could love myself more so that I don't continually set MYSELF aside...and share my overwhelming gratitude to God over and over again in each choice and step throughout my day.

Because my life is PERFECT! Really!! It is!! Not the way that I would view perfect HAHAHA! I can honestly say, when I am going through the mire, I feel anything BUT perfect...and at the "end" of it all, I am humbled to tears at God's AMAZING and perfect plan for my life. 

It's like I took a side road, of my own choosing, and at the same time on a different road running parallel to my experiences moving at an aligning speed, was God's grace and gifts about to meet up with me with, again, perfect timing, as I emerge on the other side. Over and over again, I observe this in my life.  

Just yesterday, I got lost trying to get out of IKEA in time to meet up with the study group...WOW!! 20 minutes just to get out of the store! UGH! (double UGH!)...and every missed turn lead me to find exactly that something else that I was looking for, but gave up on finding...when I finally made it to the group they were JUST starting (this perfect timing thing, if I was more grumpy and less encouraged, would get "annoying" ;) )

Allowing God to work through the circumstances in my life... priceless.

Are you an independent eater?

Yesterday I was informed that my son had decided that he would eat the same as the rest of his classmates during snack time. I can understand wanting to share socially in a meal with those you are with. I have seen how even those who have just eaten and declared they are full, would gladly sit down and put more food in to share in the company of family and friends.

This has recently been a learning process in our household with 3 boys who do not all eat the same. My 2 boys have inherited food intolerances/allergies and it has expanded our culinary knowledge and palette in order to meet their nutritional needs. Not that I was not already eating a gluten-free diet and have cut most all refined sugar (chocolate is still my vice.....and yes I can get some made without refined sugar) and preservatives from my diet, but to see how doing the same for the way my children eat and how DRASTICALLY different their moods, sleeping patterns, behaviours, and bowel movements have changed because of it has convinced me that I will do for my kids as I do for me. I will look to meet their needs nutritionally as best I can and help them to develop the habits of healthy and mindful eating in the process. That also includes making social choices that are still beneficial when it comes to eating.

As I arrived at my son's class to pick him up I was informed that he had some of the snack that was on his allergy list. He seemed relatively okay for the rest and the other affects involve the change in bowel movements and his stomach being upset for the next day or so. I will aim to balance that out with foods that support his body to function well and helps his body to get rid of what is not beneficial. My other son is pretty good about accepting what it is that he can't eat, but I think it is because his symptoms come on a lot stronger and quicker with higher intensity of pain and immediate consequences. He is quite happy with eating similar to what others are eating instead of having the same as everyone else. And for the most part he is not so eager to join in and eat when and how others are eating just because they are. It's more because he is hungry and sees food available that he would join in and it has really helped me to be more independent when it comes to eating.

DO you find that you are compromising your nutritional plan or intentions due to social gathering or influence? With the summer season upon us with all the outdoor activities, and social gatherings, how are you going to choose to maintain a healthy approach to eating and still encourage your friends and family. Engage in conversation more (and not while standing next to the snack table or at the bar), carry a bottle of water with you when you head to a barbeque, or even bring a healthy option with you to a picnic so you have it available when the other dishes may not be so supportive to how you eat. I am going to pack more than one snack option in my son's school bag today so that he will be more encouraged to go for the healthy option instead of choosing to compromise and eating food that is not beneficial to his growing needs. I want to encourage his healthy choices and help him to make those choices the best he can. I can't always be there to stand over him and say "don't eat this or that" and I don't want to. I want him to feel the encouragement of making a good choice for himself. And that, for me, is socially acceptable, responsible, and on the road to independent eating.

I DO care!

This past week I made the most of the sales of the season and got new jeans and boots. I have been putting it off for some time....leaving it up to a sale or something else out of my control, like the weather (it was COLD!), to control whether or not I take action on something I want or need. So starting last week I decided it was time to go after what it is I need and want, regardless of circumstance. I booked doctor's appointments for me and my son, to keep up to date on my blood work for my thyroid and investigate breathing and penal health for my son, and set in my mind to finally go after obtaining my learner's permit for driving after a 13 year hiatus (talk about letting the circumstance run your life).

This week I reflected on the events of last week and one thing really stuck out. The phrase "I don't care" sets off alarms the same, if not worse, than someone using harsh, offensive language around me. To even type the phrase makes me uneasy. It is such a STRONG phrasing regardless of what language it is said in. It comes with a body expression that reads the same across the board......a look of disgust and a shrug of the body, the expression is one of hatred and apathy, and to me, can poison your mind and corrupt your spirit.

When I was younger I remember using the phrase "je m'en fiche" which translates from french to mean "I could care less", and I truly did not care. I had a disregard for the feelings of others and even the presence of others. Now that I have chosen to be a living advocate for love, the use of "I don't care" pierces to my core and makes me aware of the challenges that others face when they bring these words into fruition in their lives. In one of my close relationships, my friend and I continually struggle against the nature of this phrase in their lives and the effect it has on them and those around them. They give up in a situation, they leave in frustration and anger, they allow the situation to become harmful and leave scars on their hearts and in their character......it becomes an obstacle and hindrance just from three simple words. And from sharing in this experience with my friend I have learned the power of choosing words that nurture our spirit and encourage our thoughts to be fruitful, loving and positive, resulting in a life we are pleased with instead of being turned off at one corner or the next.

So when I speak, I will choose my words carefully (full of care) and not invite words or phrases into my thoughts and out of my mouth that bring unwanted actions, emotions, and results into my life. I DO care!